I wrote to you a couple years ago. At the time, I was sad and lonely and confused with abysmal levels of confidence because as a then-26 year old straight girl and a tomboy, I'd never had a boyfriend (and had only ever kissed one guy).

You put the email up as the Savage Love Letter of the Day, and SLOG readers left awesome comments and advice. I cut and pasted all of those comments (along with my letter) into a Word document that I still read sometimes. I know people write to you thanking you for advice, but on this particular occasion, I owe great thanks to your readers. I wouldn't say they were universally comforting (advice from the internet never is, is it?), but they were all honest and perceptive, and helped shake me out of the self-pity committee I was in the process of convening. And a few people left comments to say they were the same age as me or older, and who were in the same boat I was in. Reading those helped me feel less alone.

Anyway, it's been a couple years, but I did my best to "re-fucking-lax" like the SLOG commenters advised, and be patient with myself, and to not reek of desperation quite so much. I also did a whole bunch of other crazy crap (quit my job, moved across the country), and something clunked into place, and I have a boyfriend. It's only been like a month so it's too early to tell much of anything. I'm trying to take it one day at a time, enjoy it for what it is, and not turn into raging-clingy-codependent girlfriend. But he doesn't make me feel self-conscious about my lack of experience and is about as gentle as I could possibly hope for. And he's not opposed to snowball fights (with the stuff that falls from the sky, not some variation on a sex act). I'm pretty sure we're embarrassing the townsfolk with our giggly public displays of public affection (yeah, we're one of *those* couples), but I can't be bothered.

So thank you for creating the space you've created, and for passing my letter onto the SLOG folks. And for your advice too, not just to me but to all your readers—I listen to the "Savage Lovecast" every week, and besides finding it entertaining and informative, it also helps me keep perspective on my own problems.

Satisfied Customer

My response after the jump...

You can read SC's letter—and the responses from Sloggers that she found so helpful—here.

And, hey, congrats to you, SC, and good luck with your new city, new job, and new relationship. But what I tell young gay boys pining away for their first boyfriends applies to twentysomething tomboys too: a boyfriend is nice, SC, but he's not the solution to all your problems. He's the beginning of a whole new set. But this set of problems comes with companionship, orgasms, and snowballing, so things are definitely looking up.

Thanks for the update, and best to the BF!