In Case You Missed It: Ken Hutcherson is plotting to sue the Board of Education for allowing evolution to be taught in schools, Pierce Transit will cut service by 35 percent, and a Superior Court judge has ordered an investigation into the state's tunnel shenanigans.

"It Ends Tonight": Egyptian army chief tells protesters, 'All your demands will be met.' (And when asked if that means Mubarak is stepping down, the chief answered with the phrase on the other side of the colon.)

Carnage in Pakistan: "A teenage suicide bomber walked onto the parade ground of a major military training school in northwest Pakistan on Thursday and blew himself up, killing 27 cadets," reports the NYT.

U.S. Terror Threat: At its "most heightened" state since 9/11 warns Janet Napolitano.

Seattle Stink Threat: City considers switching to every-other-week garbage pickup. (Only for single-family homes—apartment buildings would retain their weekly service.)

Ohio's "Heartbeat Bill": Seeks to ban abortions in first trimester of pregnancy.

Officer Garth Haines: Off-duty Seattle cop under investigation following Ballard bar brawl.

Royce Clinton Shorter: Renton minister charged with raping 15-year-old girl.

Horror on Beacon Hill: "The victim was waiting [for a bus] on Beacon Avenue when a man approached and asked if she had a lighter," reports KING 5. "The man pulled the victim's sweatshirt hood over her face and starting hitting her with a revolver."

Guitar Hero Slain: Guitar-simulation video game ceases production.

Finally, here's this, which, if you're anything like me, you'll watch at least six times a week for the rest of your life.

Dear Current TV: Thanks for the teleport, I'm piping away.