I understand: Practically nobody gives a shit about Ke$ha. Still: Go read Paul Constant's review of Ke$ha in concert, which he describes as "an elementary-school Christmas pageant of the damned." It's worth it, I promise:

Based on the overwhelming evidence of a glimmer of light in the pupil of a person who is being filmed by a professional camera crew, as viewed on low-quality video, do I think that Ke$ha is secretly an evil sentient lizard being? Sure. Yeah. I do. I mean, why not? Right? She’s pretty, but her face is eminently forgettable: Give me a lineup of blond women in identical clothing, and I don’t think I could spot Ke$ha unless I was holding a photograph of Ke$ha in my hand. That’s kind of spooky, I guess. And she says things like this, in an April 2010 interview with Interview magazine, about her belief system:

None of it’s fabricated. Like, I have a belief that if I wear my placenta in a necklace, there’s a possibility of me gaining second sight—like being psychic. I would be wearing it whether or not I was in the public eye. I’m just honest about the things I believe in. For instance, I went yesterday to a past-life regressionist, and he told me that in my past life I was assassinated. I’m pretty sure that I was JFK in my past life.

Those are clearly the words of someone who wants to subvert the current Judeo-Christian paradigm to allow a pantheistic lizard mythology to take root. And so, with this evidence in hand, I expected to be surrounded by lizard people at Showbox Sodo on the night of the Ke$ha concert.

Lizard people in velvet swimsuits, glitter cannons, and proof of why 14-year-olds are doomed to fail at life harder than their parents, over here.