Wisconsin firefighter/jihadist downs slice of Muslim pizza during protests at state Capitol
  • Keith Ellison for Congress
  • Unsuspecting firefighter downs slice of LSD-spiked jihadist pizza during protests at state Capitol in Madison, Wisconsin.

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In a stunning development that is sure to swing the tide of public opinion behind Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker, and against the 70,000-plus strong mob occupying his state Capitol, it has been revealed that many of the protesters who have all but shut down the legislature these past two weeks have been fueled by free pizza, paid for by a shadowy Islamist front group.

This dangerous pro-jihadist organization—operating under the name of the "Keith Ellison for Congress Committee"—has been instructing its members to aid their fellow "fighters" in Wisconsin by sending them free pizza. And so far the response has been terrifying:

"In an incredible show of solidarity, over 100 people chipped in and helped provide over 140 pizzas. If you lined them all up, those pizzas would nearly span the length of an entire football field..."

Or, about the length of the east wall of the Masjid al-Haram mosque in Mecca... but I'm guessing Rep. Ellison's followers already knew that. Rep. Ellison, you might remember, is the dangerous one-man sleeper cell from Minnesota who nearly undermined 230 years of American freedom by posing for his swearing-in photo with his hand atop Thomas Jefferson's copy of the Koran.

And what sort of toppings will you find on these Islamo-pizzas? I'm guessing no ham or sausage or good ol' American pepperoni. But Gov. Walker has his own suspicions, going on state-run television to warn Wisconsinites against this terrorist plot:

"They give them pizzas at night, they put hallucinatory pills in their pizzas, their Red Bull, their Diet Coke," Walker said.

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"No sane person" would join the protests against his rule, Walker said, calling on citizens to disarm those who were protesting.

"You people of Madison, stop your children, take their signs, bring them away from Bin Laden, the pizzas will kill them," he said. "Leave Wisconsin calm."

Whether the people of Wisconsin will heed their governor's warnings, we can only pray. You know... as long as it's to the right God.

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