Joe Jervis:

Why is it that almost every "ex-gay" person we hear about is also a former drug addict and/or alcoholic and/or felon? Could it be that happy, well-adjusted, healthy people in control of their lives don't need to run to Jeebus and blame their gayness as the source of their fucked-up existence?

Remember, kids, there's no such thing as an unhappy heterosexual.