In Libya: Gaddafi's forces have rejected a cease-fire.

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In Japan: Radioactive water is leaking into the ocean from the Fukushima Daiichi plant, say safety officials.

In Ivory Coast: BBC reports that 800 people have been killed this week in conflicts between supporters of Alassane Ouattara, the president recognized by the UN, and the incumbent, Laurent Gbagbo.

In Afghanistan: At least seven people were killed in an attack on a UN compound yesterday in response to a Florida preacher who burned the Koran last month, and insurgents wearing burkas attacked a coalition base today.

Jetpack distribution to follow: Today, Obama says it's time to stop relying on foreign oil, because clean energy technologies aren't science fiction anymore.

The ramshackle skies: The Southwest Airlines plane that made an emergency landing in Yuma, Arizona yesterday had a three-foot hole in its fuselage, reports CNN.

Keepin' it classy: Minnesota state senator comes out against the dangers of integration, claims to have a lot of black friends.

To be fair, they did find MRSA on BART: The most neurotic discerning New Yorkers can now rest assured when riding public transit with the proles thanks to the Metro Mitt, a protective glove for those trying times when you have to stand up and steady yourself by way of a handrail while riding the subway.

Because that's what college is for, amirite? Rutgers is paying noted oompa loompa Snooki a higher speaking fee than Toni Morrison, who will give this year's commencement address.

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Finally, yesterday was Rachel Maddow's birthday. Here she is, arguing with Jon Stewart about the nature of political satire. Good morning!

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