In Libya: Gaddafi's forces have rejected a cease-fire.

In Japan: Radioactive water is leaking into the ocean from the Fukushima Daiichi plant, say safety officials.

In Ivory Coast: BBC reports that 800 people have been killed this week in conflicts between supporters of Alassane Ouattara, the president recognized by the UN, and the incumbent, Laurent Gbagbo.

In Afghanistan: At least seven people were killed in an attack on a UN compound yesterday in response to a Florida preacher who burned the Koran last month, and insurgents wearing burkas attacked a coalition base today.

Jetpack distribution to follow: Today, Obama says it's time to stop relying on foreign oil, because clean energy technologies aren't science fiction anymore.

The ramshackle skies: The Southwest Airlines plane that made an emergency landing in Yuma, Arizona yesterday had a three-foot hole in its fuselage, reports CNN.

Keepin' it classy: Minnesota state senator comes out against the dangers of integration, claims to have a lot of black friends.

To be fair, they did find MRSA on BART: The most neurotic discerning New Yorkers can now rest assured when riding public transit with the proles thanks to the Metro Mitt, a protective glove for those trying times when you have to stand up and steady yourself by way of a handrail while riding the subway.

Because that's what college is for, amirite? Rutgers is paying noted oompa loompa Snooki a higher speaking fee than Toni Morrison, who will give this year's commencement address.

Finally, yesterday was Rachel Maddow's birthday. Here she is, arguing with Jon Stewart about the nature of political satire. Good morning!