Defining Moment

Comments

1
Dan, do you want to regalize porigamy?
2
The last one is pretty easy. Thats what you call the person waiting for their turn at the end of a MFM, MMM, FMF, FFF sandwich in a fourway.
3
We already have a name for this.

It's called "getting married."

Good gods, leave these two alone unless and until they do something egregiously evil that deserves public humiliation.

Being born into or marrying into the Royal Family of a foreign country doesn't qualify.
4
@1, legalizing marriage for porphyry would rock.
5
Totally unnecessary. We don't need to define any of these things.
6
I have an idea, how about you just leave it alone.

Seriously Mr Savage, this is pretty lame.
7
Defining indeed. Even tho the author's headline is done out of bitterness or even jealousy it is a defining moment for a whole nation and for the world. A positive image of continuity and love has been represented today by this beautiful couple.
8
lame
9
I like how that pic tastefully crops out the king to be's bald spot.

And "Third in line for the throne" is an obsessive fetish involving being shoved inside a large menstruating vagina, combined with cuckolding with other tampons.
10
LOVESCHILD! How are you? We missed you, you batshit old thing, you.
11
I don't understand why anyone gives two shits about these supposedly "royal" people who have no actual authority over anything, but I guess we can't blame those of us underlings who have internalized our oppressors enough to be nostalgic about monarchy via princes, princesses, royal weddings, blahblahfuckingblah. Keep defining away, Dan.
12
Wait just a minute: I'm a monarchist, and I think the wedding is great. I love love. I also love crazy kinky sex acts and I hope the new marrieds are engaged—and have engaged—in all sorts of 'em.

God save the future king and queen!
13
I think "Kissing on the palace balcony" should be any kissing at the base of the penis, because it's above where the balls are held.

14
"Kissing on the palace balcony" should be some sort of smutty act in formal wear, like ballroom gown up, trouser down and looking, in a room that should be forbidden or formal..
15
Not sure, but I think a 'Medved' should be an injury caused by improper anal sex technique
16
Polygamy would have made Henry the 8th a mellower fellow.

How do you feel about that, Danny?
17
The last one is easy, "TURD"!
18
Dear Lovey-Churchy Troll: A couple of inbred lazy idlers blew a shit-ton of taxpayer money to get hitched, and everyone expects they've been shacking up & doing the nasty dance for a long time prior to this wedding. They belong to the utterly irrelevant monarchy, a monarchy riddled by scandals, intrigue, and awfulness.

That two idle richies got hitched while blowing a shit-ton of money means nothing, utterly nothing and is certainly not a positive image to 99.8% of the world.
19
Good on Savage, that's very nice, tho strange, coming from someone like dan who works on diminishing the importance of marriage. But like they say even a broken clock once in awhile ...

20
@13 I like! For "Riding in the royal carriage" howzaboudy a bride pegging her husband and immortalizing the act with a commemorative plate?
21
16, Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).

Often the person carries out the behaviors to get rid of the obsessive thoughts, but this only provides temporary relief. Not performing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth…
22
Yay! Lovechild is back! I love that girl's rantings.
23
Lame!
24
Diminishing the importance of marriage? Nope, just the opposite. He helps save relationships. And, the fact that he is married reflects how much he values it.

Cheers!
25
All we need is Mr. Poe and our family will be complete. *sniff*

I'm so grateful to the royals for bringing us back together.
26
Thank you Ziggity #1 for beating the menstruation troll, whoops, I mean period troll.
27
Whatever the act, describing it should contain the phrase: "some people prefer syrup, I prefer jelly."
28
Kising on the palace balconey I think should be when a guy sucks a girls clit.
29
Not to be a wet blanket, but doesn't this only happen once a decade or two? Are we going to remember next time there's some royal hoo-de-hoo wedding that in 2011 we decided that "kissing on the palace balcony" meant sixty-nining while skydiving, or whatever?
30
@4 nice.
31
It's pretty obvious, isn't it? RIMMING!
32
Ahh dan, Third in line for the throne is when your waiting for the other two to finish with the pussy but you know she'll be done before it gets to you so you fucked, but ey you got yo hand and some live porn
33
@31 My thoughts exactly, even though this is all really forced.
34
"And, the fact that he is married reflects how much he values it."

Such a crass oxymoron statement that it befuddles the mind. I see that sadly the fog has still festered over. May clarity shine thru one day in Portland.

In God's Love.
35
I'm making popcorn as I type this. Showtime!
36
Haha, Kim vs Loveschild - it's like a YouTube video of a tiny bird cheeping and pecking at the ears of a big, patient mastiff who's got the, "Eventually they will tire of this" look.
37
Technically, its Harry that is third in line for the throne, so that phrase may need to include inappropriate costumes and subsequent shaming apologies.
38
How about "kissing on the balcony" means "acting like a 2 year-old trying to take the attention away from two people you never met who live in a country that you dont even live in? And "third in line for the throne" could mean "couldnt think of a better use of the considerable wits of a skinny gay guy other than be an ass about something that has nothing to do with him?!" Or "ride in an open carrige" could mean "let every one see i have nothing better to do then try to spoil something that has nothing to do with me?" Really dan, I love you, i really do, but grow up just a little.
39
Lovechild, beaten your children with a belt lately?
40
38, Lighten up. Geeze Louise.
41
Welcome back, LovesTroll. We've missed your inane ramblings. I guess you missed the daily whippings on SLOG, you ol' closet BDSM'er you?
At least you have more to say than Tampax's obsession on multiple somethings.
42
Good to see you're back LC - to see you on your return come out swinging for the British Monarchy is a lovely way to cap off my day, here in St Andrews, Scotland. Get up, watch the wedding with mates, get pished at the pub in town, watch Howl's Moving Castle, and to tie it off! My favorite troll is back in business!
43
poor danny-

came up with "santorum" as a kid and has never been able to reach that high again (tho not for a lack of trying, gawd bless his widdle soul...)

no, nothing but doorknob licking and really really shitty musicals since.........
44
Loveschild is back! And seems re-energized after spending several months at a Taliban training camp!
45
People, why all the hate? I don't see anything bitter in Dan's post. We could very well enjoy the whole wedding hoopla AND make up a new sex act definition. I didn't really follow the wedding coverage too much, but it was nice to see the crowds cheering to something so benign and utterly silly and sweet. As for the money thrown into the whole thing, well, it's not like they burnt cash or shipped it off abroad in boxes, right? Spending is actually good for the economy. Plus people got a free day off.

Oh, and Loveschild is back which means that period troll will lose the spotlight. haha.
46
"Third in line for the throne" should be that feeling after you've been f*cked but didn't orgasm
47
Why thank you, LC. Tis nice that you have your opinion. I'm glad the dictionary disagrees with you on the definition of marriage, though.

I'll leave you to answer the questions that others seem to have for you.

Cheers!
48
Womyn2me @37, I'm so dumb I thought he WAS talking about Harry, that's why I said "Turd"!
49
@1: I <3 you.
OMG Loveschild! Welcome back little loony bird. I look forward to Kim running rings around your lack of biblical knowledge. despicable me, please pass the pop corn.
@13: Personally your definition made me laugh aloud and clap my hands with glee. A very elegant pun sir. I tip my hat!
@25: Remember when they let the top trolls run Slog for the day? And there were all those scary pictures of people getting fucked by giant bugs? Good times!
Maybe they should do that again with our latest crop? Except of course Alleged and the Tampax Sock Puppet Brigade would just show up as Unregistered Post on May 5, 2011 at 2:15 AM which might be a problem.
50
Just leave them alone. William didn't ask to be born into a Royal family, and Kate was just an average person (her parents worked as flight attendants, she's not from nobility, money yes, nobility no). They're two people, they love each other, they're getting married and it has to be a big deal because of who William is, but I'm sure they don't love the lack of privacy in their relationship. And William seems to be a pretty good person, he's in the RAF, and has risked his life and done good things. Leave sexual neologisms in "honor" of people who deserve the humiliation.
51
From the Oxford dictionary, Kim :

Marriage -" the formal union of a man and a woman, typically recognized by law, by which they become husband and wife."

Consequently, the same dictionary also has a clear definition for the type of 'formal' relationships people of dan's persuasion choose to take part in, they call it "civil partnership".

The Brits ( including the Monarchs ) agree , and so does most of the world because without it there's no human race, and no Monarchy. As always it has been a pleasure to provide you with the most basic understanding of nature. Keep trying to edify your soul honey, you know where to start. In God's Love.

52
Lissa, I'm making a fresh hot batch right now! I think I'm going to double it.
53
I'm just looking forward to this evening, when they hand the bloody sheet from the palace balcony to prove the bride's virtue.
54
Dude, seriously, leave them alone. They're happy and in love. Good for them.
55
@51 yes, that's basically the only difference brits make. otherwise these partnerships are equal to marriage - you can even bring your foreign partner into the country same as straight people. I'm sure that's not what you would prefer, right?
56
@51: I love dictionary wars!

From the Merriam-Webster:
1 a (1) : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law (2) : the state of being united to a person of the same sex in a relationship like that of a traditional marriage

Oh noes! Which dictionary do I choose to tell me what it means? I don't wanna think for myself!
57
Backyard, actually I prefer Urban Dictionary!

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.ph…

58
Late to the party, but gus @4, WOOT, boy! Your geology humour sure is gneiss!!
59
Loveschild,

One could call it intellectual dishonesty when one leaves part of the definition out, because to include it would dilute their point. You didn't copy it all, and just assumed that we have all forgotten your track record and would take you at your word.

Also form Oxford (and not the entire definition, just the part you have no wish to acknowledge):

informal a union between partners of the same sex; a civil partnership.

Or this from Dictionary.com
–noun
1.
a.
the social institution under which a man and woman establish their decision to live as husband and wife by legal commitments, religious ceremonies, etc.
b.
a similar institution involving partners of the same gender: gay marriage.
2.
the state, condition, or relationship of being married; wedlock: a happy marriage.
3.
the legal or religious ceremony that formalizes the decision of two people to live as a married couple, including the accompanying social festivities: to officiate at a marriage.

Before you go scrambling to another dictionary, don't bother. We have a difference of opinion, that is all. The difference is that I don't need to make desultory inferences about you when I disagree with your statement. You might want to take a step back before commenting in the future, as the words you type are the only actions that your character can be observed by. They speak loudly and they are in conflict with your avatar/profile picture. You are a sad and strange person who needs to abuse others because they disagree with you.

I have no wish to engage with you as I have better things to do with my day.

I'll leave you to find another person to wrestle with.
60
@51: Clearly, you don't know how to use a dictionary, you sanctimonious thundercunt.
Yes, the OED defines "marriage" as
"1.
a. The condition of being a husband or wife; the relation between persons married to each other; matrimony."
And then on LITERALLY THE NEXT LINE it says
"The term is now sometimes used with reference to long-term relationships between partners of the same sex."
http://www.oed.com/view/Entry/114320?red…
You moronic half-witted tosser!
61
And oh, to play the game: Kissing on the palace balcony should refer to having sex in public in a discreet way, you know, proper for all the world to see, but a party going on downstairs...
62
Big internet hugs and sideways hearts to Kim <3
63
'Kissing on the palace balcony' simply has to mean licking up the come after a titjob.
64
<3 <3 Kim!
65
@ 13. laughed out loud, and not just a chuckle.

"3rd in line to the thrown" shouldn't have a definition. It should be said with a knowing wink and in a salacious manner, referring to something everyone should know about, and anyone who doesn't is afraid to ask
66
Kim :

The precedence is given to the actual meaning of marriage. When you're able to cite to me the marriage of a homosexual ( who is heir to the throne ) to another person of his same sex, let me know. The FACT that the Brits make a clear distinction between marriage such as the one between Kate and William, and civil partnerships like that of Elton John with that other man, should suffice to understand the difference. Reality is something quite different from the playhouse / pretend world of some confussed academics.

No Constitutional Monarchy has two Kings nor two Queens in marriage to one another.
Pssst: Not even the gay 'marriage' 'heaven' of the Netherlands. Even old Beatrix ( dan's favorite ) knows better than to even allow that thought to cross her's or any of her offspring minds. Because that would spell the END.

Take all the time you need to keep on cleaning your mind, I can only imagine how all the accumulation of so many cobwebs must make removal a monumental task.

In God's Love.
67
Loveschild comes up the starting gate, there's the bell! And SHE'S OFF!

Her meds.
68
@66 Canada is a constitutional monarchy, and we recognize same sex marriage. And just because the current heir to the throne is straight, it does not follow that his children necessarily will be. The future is wide open.
70
@66, The distinguishment is in word only. Everyone over here (well, I can't speak for the BNP) conceives of marriage and civil union as equivalent.
71
HAHAHAHA WHAT so now marriage is literally defined by what the king and queen are doing? Hilarious! And so you're saying if someone who is heir to the throne gets gay-married, that's the END? What do you mean by the "END?" Are the aliens going to return and kill us all, is that it? What, honestly, would happen if two royals got gay-married?
72
@66: Oh woohoo, there are no royals who are gay married. You are aware, I am certain, that until the last century or so (the waning age of royalty) marriages amongst the nobility were political alliances rather than anything to do with love?
You may also wish to consider the case of Manvendra Singh Gohil, a prince of the former princely state of Rajpipla, who just so happens to be gay and is India's foremost advocate for the gay community.
"The precedence is given to the actual meaning of marriage." Now THAT's a sentence without any working intepretation! So apparently the older definition of marriage is the "actual" one, and the other one isn't. Why? Um...because you say so, I guess. Glad to hear that you're a better authority on terminology than the OED and the MWD combined! Go fuck yourself with a cactus.
73
@63 FTW
74
I am only posting to thank @72 for not linking that last sentence. I have barely recovered from its previous use.
75
Um... Hello...I can't be the only one who doesn't think @ 47 was talking about William and Kate. @ 47, @ 56... were acknowleding the definition of marriage in the English language having been changed to reflect the reality of gay marriage. @66,is a snitty asshole that was trolled, knows it lost and has gone on a tangent to attempt saving face. Clearly someone pissed in its coffee today. Ignore it.
76
@74 That image remains clear as day to me as well...gaaa, "eye bleach on aisle four!"
77
@31--Some things should never be forced--especially rimming!
78
That to which the newly weds abided by says it best :


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and in the face of this congregation, to join together this man and this woman in holy matrimony;which is an honourable estate, instituted of God himself, signifying unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church; which holy estate Christ adorned and beautified with his presence, and first miracle that he wrought, in Cana of Galilee, and is commended in Holy Writ to be honourable among all men; and therefore is not by any to be enterprised, nor taken in hand, unadvisedly, lightly, or wantonly; but reverently, discreetly, soberly, and in the fear of God, duly considering the causes for which matrimony was ordained.

First, it was ordained for the increase of mankind according to the will of God, and that children might be brought up in the fear and nurture of the Lord, and to the praise of his holy name.

Secondly, it was ordained in order that the natural instincts and affections, implanted by God, should be hallowed and directed aright; that those who are called of God to this holy estate, should continue therein in pureness of living.

Thirdly, it was ordained for the mutual society, help, and comfort, that the one ought to have of the other, both in prosperity and adversity.

Into which holy estate these two persons present come now to be joined.



http://news.sky.com/skynews/Article/2011…

In God's Love.
79
Is it possible we could not have a sex act defined as a term that comes from an event whose real cultural importance is allowing the people of the internet to compete among themselves to prove who cares the least?
80
@ 50, 69 - is sex humiliating and despicable?
81
Kissing on the Palace Balcony: a woman gives a man a blowjob whilst she is also giving him a tittyfuck. The boobies, you see, are the Balcony, and the blowjob is the Kiss.

=3
82
Don't know if anyone else has suggested this, but it makes the most sense to me:

Kissing on the Palace Balcony = Orally stimulating the taint.
83
You know, LC, I'm an atheist and even *I* am offended by your invocation of "in God's love." Man, there ain't nothing of love in your comments.
84
@78: What is it with you and your obsession with the royal wedding? Is it that they're the only celebrities you can find who don't behave badly?
85
@ Daniel

no, but #13 suggested the base of the shaft . "because it's above where the balls are held"

lovely reverse double-entendre, where the innocent meaning is funnier than the "dirty" one.

Your location kinda-sorta works, if the guy is standing up
86
I second that, @83. That sign-off basically double underlines all the hypocrisy in LC's statements.
87
Loveschild,many churches will perform gay marriages. Get over it.
88
@78 Yeah, well, you know what my wedding vows were? "Do you promise to love each other, for better or for worse, in sickness and in health, and--and this is important--you gotta promise not to beat the crap out of each other."

Just because theirs had more money thrown at it doesn't make it better. It's not like they're actually important anymore.
89
@85

That does sound good too.

I'm trying to come up with definitions for the others too.

"Third in line for the throne" could work as a euphemism for being at the end of a fuck train.

"Ride in an open carriage" could mean performing reverse cowgirl on someone while your significant other watches ("open carriage" does sound like "open marriage"). Example of usage: "My husband has a cuckold fetish so we like to ride in an open carriage with hung younger men." :)

"Third in line for the throne" ... hmmm, all I can think of is being at the end of a fuck train, or maybe getting involved in a triad in the hopes of becoming the primary partner: "I met this couple interested in riding in an open carriage, but I really hit it off with the wife, so now I'm a third, in line for the throne."
90
"It's not like they're actually important anymore."

54 states disagree with you :

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commonwealt…

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_mem…


I have explained this fully, if your mind is that clouded I cannot help any of you, any further, take care all.

In God's Love.
91
@90: I am a citizen of a Commonwealth realm. Elizabeth II is my Queen, and barring constitutional changes, William will one day be my King. So I am far more qualified than you to state that his marriage says nothing about the validity or importance of equal marriage - which is in fact the law of the land in Canada and South Africa, both members of the Commonwealth.

I am also far more qualified than you to say that his marriage, while entertaining enough for fans of pageantry and high fashion, is an irrelevant sideshow.
92
"I have explained this fully, if your mind is that clouded I cannot help any of you, any further, take care all."

That is just it, Loveschild. You explained nothing. You have an opinion which because you state it means it is to be taken as fact. That is pride talking.

But, I gather that you did make something clear, you behaved dishonestly, hypocritically, and abusively yesterday and you claimed it was "in God's love". So you've shown everyone here that the God you claim to represent is like you: dishonest; hypocritical; abusive.

I feel very sorry for you.
93
@Kim: I feel a great deal of sympathy for the people in this world who try really hard to be good Christians in a quiet, unassuming way. You have done a magnificent job of reminding folks like me that Christian does not necessarily equal "intolerant bigot." Loveschild, unfortunately, reinforces all our stereotypes of what being a Christian means. I know there are many more Christians like you, but they're so quiet and respectful their voices get drowned out by the Loveschilds of the world.

I suppose it's incumbent on us non-believers to bear that in mind. Loveschilds make for delightful piñatas, but they're by no means representative of the faith.

At least, I hope not.
94
Oh come now everyone. This is a good-natured joke. Since when giving a funny name to a sex act that makes people happy such a bad thing around here? It's high time people remembered that marriage and weddings are about sex as well as commitment and devotion.

I think that @13 had a great idea for "kissing on the palace balcony." Maybe "ride in an open carriage" should be "Having sex with a woman who is wearing a top that shows mega cleavage" because the "passengers" would be bouncing up and down from within a frame.

As for W&K, we could hope that they'll be happier than his mother, but that's not saying much, so I'll say I hope they're quite happy.
95
"Third in line for the throne" is Prince Harry, so it should be something inappropriate, disappointing/-ed and crass enough to wear an Nazi uniform as a Halloween costume in a country that got the crud bombed out of it by Nazis...

"Third in line for the throne" is that ex who goes around saying that his/her ex in question did the thing that TiLftT got dumped for: "I heard Mickey dumped you because you cheated on him." "Uh, no! HE cheated on ME!"
97
@20 - do you mean a plate like this?

http://www.regretsy.com/2011/04/29/the-s…