Or else—one of these days, Alice:

Man With Dead Weasel Accused of Assault

HOQUIAM, Wash. (AP) — Police say a man was carrying a dead weasel when he burst into an apartment and assaulted a man in Washington state.

The victim asked, "Why are you carrying a weasel?" Police said the attacker answered, "It's not a weasel, it's a marten," then punched him in the nose and fled.

The article concludes:

A marten is a member of the weasel family.


I'm not blaming the victim or anything, but I'm going to side with the puncher and against the AP (which elsewhere in the article refers to the marten as a "weasel"). Because where do we draw the line? Is a stoat also a "weasel"? Is a badger also a "weasel"? Those two animals mean very different things when they become verbs. A line must be drawn. Somewhere. Indelibly, even.*
Yes!
  • Flickr: WALMART (wait, seriously?)
  • Yes!

Also!
  • Flickr: APRILZOSIA
  • Also!

*It's a thousand degrees outside and my brain has melted.