Press Release of the Day

Comments

1
It's hard to believe it's come to this.
2
I've been doing this in person for years and it just does not end well.
3
wank you very much.
4
There'll be someone who abuses it. They will click on everyone they know, hoping to find out which of their friends clicked on them. Then a lot of "Oh, haha, whoops. My finger slipped, and not in a sexy way. Sorry, didn't mean to click on you, but thanks for the thought."
5
@4 - I don't think that will ever happen, 4, because NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WILL DO THIS.
6
I had that idea years ago. It just never occurred to me to act on it.
7
I think this site has already gone to the trolls, looking at the Wall of Wanks, especially the most masturbated to guys...

Really, was there any other way this was going to go?
8
So you mean if Asia Argento would just admit to pettin' the clam while thinking about me, the two of us might finally be able to hook up... ?
9
@5 - Who said anything about people in their right mind? This is the internet. You must be new.

@6 - "I had that idea years ago. It just never occurred to me to act on it." That's kind of the point, isn't it?
10
The site should be called T.M.I. It's icky and stalkerish.
11
how can i throw money at this? this is low enough to hit.
12
"...humps the shark."

Pun/wordplay of the day!
13
@9 "Who said anything about people in their right mind? This is the internet. You must be new."

Nice turn of phrase. This will be reused by many!
14
I like "humps the shark." I must remember that one.

And seconded on all the EW! factors :-P
15
I don't get why people think this is "icky" or "ew!"?

It's stupid, sure, but "icky?" Why? At most, it's flattering, at least, it's pointless.
16
Maybe Marcus Bachmann will be exposed thanking some young gent for his wank.
17
@ 9 - Not new. Just hyperbolic. You're right, of course - it will be "abused" by many.
18
I imagine that middle schoolers will pretend to be their peers in order to torment them by hitting everyone under the sun.
19
@11 You win, be my accountant for life.
20
@18 - As in most things in life, I sincerely hope children under 18 aren't allowed in.
21
Hey sloggers, thought of y'all when I spotted this article: Why Are Americans Still Giant Hypocrites…
22
Thank God you can't see my +7 ...
23
Yuch.

Too icky for me to spend the time to figure this out: but, must you post yourself?

Or can your stalker post you?

If so, too rape culture for me.
24
If your stalker can post your photo, oh nothing bad could ever happen from that, now could it?

No one could have forseen...
25
@20, I'm sure the site will implement a way to keep out minors, like asking them to give their date of birth when they register. It's foolproof, see, because teenagers can't do arithmetic!
26
I'm picking my nose while thinking of you.....
27
I love that it has a "To Do" list.

Ahh juvinile humor, i love you.

I can see people getting a laugh out of this but I bet it will fizzle out just like Chat Roulette.
28
stupid as hell.

it will be 25,000 dudes sitting around with their dicks in their hands, most of them wondering where all the chicks are.

so, basically, exactly what the internet was seven years ago.
29
A guy on Friendster once told me he put me in his 'spank bank' for that night. It's not nearly as flattering as you might think.
30
Dan - 2nd paragraph is:
If someone has indicated they wank to you and you have indicated you wank to that someone - you will now both receive a message saying you wank to each other.
31
Isn't this just a small leap away from that facebook game where your "friends" answer questions about you like "Does she have a cute but? Does she have a crush on you? Is she fun?"

I often wonder if I'm the only person who finds that whole thing incredibly tactless, because it's essentially a supposed friend publicly evaluating you like they're a critic and you're a celebrity. Even if it's complementary, it's really fucking presumptuous.

I try to keep in mind the advice: "What other people think about you is none of your business." If I want your opinion about the attractiveness of my ass, I'll ask for it. If not, best keep it to yourself. Times 20 if the question is "Have you ever jacked off to her?"
32
The second paragraph is trying to tell us humanity is doomed, Dan.
33
I say a gonzo bit of fact-finding journalism is in order.

Will in Seattle: Professional Vagina Dryer.
34
This is definitely going the direction of chatroulette.
35
This seems like too much effort when you can just go to Chat Roulette to watch other guys masturbate.
36
In who's world is telling a stranger you've masturbated to their picture an "ice breaker"?
37
The mutual +1 thing doesn't make any sense! No way would people sign up with their real names! And they're not gonna share their screen names with real life friends. So they'd never find each other on there!

...no one but a predator would type in the real names of the people they're wanking to. gaaah ick ick
38
@37 - you do sign up with your real name cause it's a facebook log in, not an actual sign up where you have to write down your details. You allow the website to take your details from facebook, just like many other apps. So you are using your real name which is quite OK, considering this is supposed to be funny.. I take it as a joke to have a laugh, nothing more serious than that really
39
You use your real name on Facebook? Wow, what a concept.
40
@15 I've actually been approached by people in bars who have opened a conversation by saying they have sexual fantasies about me. It can be flattering if the person is attractive or engaging, even if sex isn't going to be the result of that admission; however, it the person is not at all your type, or the person has a creepy vibe, it is worse than awkward. It can get unpleasant, especially if the person who approaches has a fragile ego and poor social skills. Have you ever had a stranger scream "If you don't want to have sex with people, why go to a bar?" at you? It is icky.
41
@39 -- actually FB is the *only* place I use my real name. Everywhere else I use a 'nym. That way, I just point IRL folks I actually know in person to FB when they want to interact with me online.
42
Danny, have you registered you fondness for Rick Santorum?
43
Um. The only people about whom I want that knowledge (that they masturbate while thinking about me) are people I have probably already watched masturbate. I truly do not want to know that about most people. I do not need to know the fantasies of those with whom I do not have teh secks.
44
@9, you have coined the best phrase I've heard in awhile! Thank you.
45
@44....you people obviously have never been to 4chan
46
@45 - Thank you. I was starting to worry I might be witty.
47
I remember the days of being a teenage girl on the internet and having sketchy guys tell me exactly how much they were enjoying my innocent, fully-clothed pictures. I was really disturbed for awhile because I felt like I was encouraging them somehow, simply by exposing my face on the internet. It's like I was asking for it or something! And then if I didn't post a picture, people would just assume I was an old man and start insulting me for no reason. It's tough to be a teenage girl on the internet! And then, I realized that anybody who ever leaves their house is likely to be fantasized about by the people who see them, and we can't possibly avoid it, so let's not worry about it.

I love how the top 10 guys on the site include a few who seem to have benefited from a campaign to get them there. Also, I want one of the "Wank like an Egyptian" shirts they're selling. That's awesome.
48
Twitter is all the masturbation one civilization needs.
49
@40

I'm, um, sorry for shouting that at you that one time. It was late, and I had had too much to drink. And the moon was full, so I had that going against me.
50
@47 how long ago was that? Why do you think that people insulting you thought you were an old man? Is there some rule in your head that says insulting old men is okay? I don't think you're an old man, for the record.
51
Hahaha! This site is pretty awesome. And the mutual alert thing is quite simple. If you +1 someone and they +1 you, both of you get an email (assuming your alerts are set to active..). It certainly looks like it's just for fun, but yeah, there is potential for people to abuse the system..
52
@50 I had it as a corollary to the axiom that there are no girls on the internet in the late nineties. If there are no girls on the internet then if you claim to be a girl then you must be lying and should be hounded for this (also a technique to get pics if you are). Easier at the time to accept the assumption that you are a boy, and feed the misconception that there are no girls on the internet.
53
Is it to late to +1 Christine O'Donnell?
54
The site sounds harmless (I'm at work and am NOT going to go there now) as long as people don't include their real names, or faces in their pictures. I suppose if it gets too creepy, just stop going to the site.

Now, having data from Facebook feed into the site... that's another issue entirely. Maybe the users can't see your real info, but what about the owners of the site? And what are they going to do with it?

Not like Facebook wouldn't sell it to 'em anyway. Gaah. The Internet: where privacy goes to die.
55
So, what, the hundreds of video-chat sites enabling users to masturbate to images of other users were missing sufficient social-networking functions? Huh? Don't the user-generated porn sites already basically have this functionality?