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So...

Rick Santorum waved another paper napkin in front of another group voters in Iowa this weekend because, you see, napkins are napkins and napkins can never be anything else! They're napkins, people! NAPKINS! (I've used paper napkins in place of toilet paper—only under duress!—and I'm guessing I'm not the only paper napkin perverter out there.) And then Santorum claimed that gay people are waging jihad against him. Santorum, like all Christian bigots, sees himself as the victim. How does that work exactly?

Exactly like this.

Why are gay people so darn mean to Rick Santorum? All Rick wants to do is write anti-gay bigotry into the Constitution, ban same-sex marriage, make it illegal for gay people to have or adopt children, make sure gay people can't make medical decisions for our partners during medical emergencies, make gay sex a felony again, prevent queer widow and widowers from accessing their deceased partners' social security or pension benefits, reinstitute DADT, split up binational gay couples—and on and on—and, golly, it's so unfair that gay people don't want Rick Santorum president. (Also, jokes.) And so long as we refuse to accept second-class citizenship status—so long as we insist on squirming while Rick and his buddies pound those nails home—we're persecuting him.

The nerve of some people, huh?

And, hey, it would be nice to see a real journalist take Rick to task for the other demonstrable falsehoods in that clip. Marriage wasn't "given" to use at the very beginning of time, it isn't universal, and it isn't remarkably consistent in across all cultures.

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