Endorsing lifelong sexual exclusivity for all marrieds who've made monogamous commitments—regardless of a particular couple's changing life circumstances—is the first refuge of lazy moralists everywhere. Those of us who have to give useful advice to actual marrieds, not Sims or pegs in the Game of Life, don't enjoy the same luxury. Which is why it's not just marriage-undermining advice professionals of the homosexual variety who'll sign off on cheating. Today a married straight lady with an advice column had this to say to a closeted bi husband getting it on with a dude behind his wife's back:
Your long marriage sounds as if it is based on affection, respect, abnegation, and elision.... If you were both middle-aged, I'd suggest you talk this out. There would have been time then for you two to decide to live more honestly, possibly split and look for other partners, or at least make explicit the terms of your marriage. However, after a lifetime of suppression and fidelity (and a long stretch of celibacy), I think you're entitled to this new connection and the pleasure it brings.
Props, Prudie. Deal, Ross.