Jesus Ween

Comments

1
is this for real? The website doesn't do anything--all the buttons are inactive. Just wondering...
2
I was excited for a minute because I am a huge fan of the band Ween
3
Yeah, I smell Poe's Law, too.

If it is legit, though... the irony burns. Halloween itself was created by Christians: the very early calendar had a "feast of the risen in Christ" the week after Easter. It being early spring, there wasn't enough food to feed the masses of pilgrims travelling to Rome, so the Pope moved the observance to after the autumn harvest. This was at a time when the Celtic Church was ascendant, so it was relocated to co-opt Samhain, the pagan Celtic commemoration of the dead.

(Many other Christian important observances -- Christmas, Candlemas, the Feast of St. John the Baptist, Michaelmas -- were given fixed dates around this time as well, all corresponding to old Celtic holy days.)
4
Yeah, I smell Poe's Law, too.

If it is legit, though... the irony burns. Halloween itself was created by Christians: the very early calendar had a "feast of the risen in Christ" the week after Easter. It being early spring, there wasn't enough food to feed the masses of pilgrims travelling to Rome, so the Pope moved the observance to after the autumn harvest. This was at a time when the Celtic Church was ascendant, so it was relocated to co-opt Samhain, the pagan Celtic commemoration of the dead.

(Many other Christian important observances -- Christmas, Candlemas, the Feast of St. John the Baptist, Michaelmas -- were given fixed dates around this time as well, all corresponding to old Celtic holy days.)
5
Do you serve Jesus cocktail weenies?
7
Oh, I was going to guess a program to wean people off of Jesus.  It only occurred to me just now, as I was typing, that that's the wrong wean/ween.
8
From Wikipedia: To hallow is "to make holy or sacred, to sanctify or consecrate, to venerate". The adjective form hallowed, as used in The Lord's Prayer, means holy, consecrated, sacred, or revered.

9
Next person that feels the need to explain- for the 4,000,000th time- that christians co-opted pagan holidays is getting straight dick punched.
10
Oh, those wacky Bible-thumpers. What will they think of next?
12
I actually have explained the antecedents of Halloween to otherwise reasonable people who didn't know -- so I do bring it up at appropriate times...
13
There are some inspirational Bible quotes on there. Like this one:
"At the name of Jesus EVERY KNEE WILL BOW, of those who are in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and that every tongue will..." Anyway, it goes on from there. Pretty.
14
So, if Halloween is the eve (i.e. preceding evening) of All Hallows Day. WTF is Jesusween the eve of?

Next, let's replace Independence Day with Jesuspendence Day.

Silly fuckers.

You know, if merely invoking Jesus' name made someone religious, some crusty sailor would be Pope.
15
@14 - New Jesus Day
Jesustine's Day
Jesus de Mayo
Jesusgiving
Jesusmas
Jeaster
16
The actual Christian holiday intended to supplant the pagan Samhain was originally called "Hallowmas" or "All Souls (nee Saints') Day", or, in contemporary Latin America "Dia De Los Muertos" on November 1st. "Halloween" was originally called "All Hallows Eve", which naturally fell on October 31st, the day before the celebrated holy day.

I guess Christians are just trying to take back the holiday that secularists took from them after they took it from the pagans. So, my advice would be to take it back again, by creating a new-new holiday, "Zombie Yeshuween", where everybody dresses up like the reanimated rotting corpse of a long-dead Jewish philosopher.
17
Aww. I thought it was the dress code for the party, zombie biblical characters. Shoot! I was going to dress as the woman brought before Jesus to be stoned or Martha with a broom.

Besides I thought the church events on Halloween were called "Harvest Festivals", kiddies in costumes, painted pumpkins and lots of candy.

Some cultures acknowledge November 1st as All Saints Day and they remember those who have died, especially in the last year.
18
I forgot that ween has other meanings beside the band.

remind me of Poe's law again?
19
@14: Crusty sailors HAVE been Pope. Example.
20
Thought it was Jesus Peen. There's a good band name!
21
Stupid Christians. It's "GodWeenSatan" not "Jesusween."

If I could hack like a TV hacker, I'd take that page down and stick a big Boognish up there. And link it to lemonparty.
22
They want to make it an evangelical christmas by urging all christians to give gifts of bibles and literature to the unsaved masses...and don't forget to wear white tops on halloween and send the money saved to, oh, i don't know, a good "non for Profit Organization" like, say, Jesus Ween (hoods optional?).
23
@18 - Basically, Poe's Law says that without some form of explicit flag, it is impossible to tell the difference between extremism and a parody of extremism. Case in point: the number of people who think the Landover Baptist Church is real, and the number of people who think the Westboro Baptist Church is fake.
24
Happy Birthday Dan Savage!
25
@15 I thought Easter was the day Jesus comes out of the ground and if he sees his shadow, there will be six weeks more of winter.
26
@25 - You're thinking of Groundjesus Day.
27
It's got to be a fake. Check the facebook page: All the comments are from people making fun of the group. There's no offended, self-righteous, fire-and-brimstone troll fighting back against all the mocking. If it were a real thing, someone out there would believe in it enough to fight back, or to delete any "offensive" comments.
28
Does the term "non for profit" mean that it is not officially a "not for profit" or "nonprofit" organization?
29
@15: JEASTER. You win.
30
@23- And let's not forget Poe's Corollary: No matter how extreme your parody of some belief is, you'll find there's someone who sincerely agrees with whatever it was you said in jest.
31
Christian fanatics use "Jesus" the same way a certain group of blue cartoon characters use "Smurf".
32
@26 Where of course the traditional meal is a hearty stew full of crumbled post-transubstantiation communion waffers.
33
@2 @21

Exactly what I was thinking too. I thought Deaner and Gener were throwing a party.
34
@32 - That's just chewed up crackers, isn't it?
35
Dude, it's The Body Of Christ!
36
@35 - Actually, shouldn't there be some wine in there, too?

Somebody should make this and sell it to the churches. It'll be called Jesusloaf, and it'll save so much time on communion.
37
I think I'll go as zombie jesus this year.
38
Maybe didn't miss the apostrophe, but I think an apotheosis was missed...somewhere...
39
@36 Sounds delicious. Or maybe we could make Jesus Newtons, snackable wafer-wrapped-blood-of-Christ-cookies.
40
Is it Jesus who pushes the little daisies and makes them come up?