You know how some people are super good at writing in that hilariously in-your-face/tell-it-like-it-is style that seems so natural you assume maybe everyone can do it?

Meet Jenny Mollen Biggs, wife of American Pie actor Jason Biggs, who apparently noticed how Chelsea Handler made a grazillion dollars writing in an offhandedly graphic way about her sex life and decided to give it a whack. The result was published on the Playboy blog The Smoking Jacket and it's one of the worst collection of words I've ever encountered.

Some have dismissed the post as merely bizarre—see Radar's "Jason Biggs’ Wife Writes Bizarre Blog About Hiring A Hooker."

But it's so much more than that. From the extravagantly failed attempts at "edgy humor!" to the barely veiled misogyny that runs through the piece, it's a pile-of-shit masterwork. Truly, from the evidence of her writing, I can say that what Courtney Stodden looks like on the outside, Jenny Biggs looks like on the inside.

Read the whole awful wonderful thing here!

(Fun fact: Jason Biggs couldn't be prouder of his wife's accomplishment.)