Death Is a Distant Rumor to the Young: Andy Rooney is dead at 92. "I didn't get old on purpose; it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you."

Remember, Remember: Today is bank transfer day.

Who Needs a Stinkin' Immigration Policy? When Governor Gregoire can order inmates to pick apples.

Greece Scrambles for Unity Government: Greek Prime Minister Papandreou is seeking to form a unity government, to show the ECB and IMF that Greece is prepared to work together to stay in the euro.

Colombian Rebel Alfonso Cano Killed in Bombing: By the Colombian government. He was positively identified by fingerprint.

Daily Karbieber Roundup: Kim Kardashian refuses to let her E! reality show cover her divorce proceedings, and this woman claims to have borne Canadian Stallion Justin Bieber's child.

Collisions Happen in Britain, Too: 34 vehicles crashed on the northbound M5 highway, resulting in explosions, and 7 deaths and 51 injuries so far, making it the worst crash ever in Britain.

Black Bear Caught in Lakewood: After eluding capture and sustaining several tranquilizer shots.

Suspect Arrested for Alleged Serial UW Bike Theft: After convincing police that two bikes Jesse James Neel was allegedly moving both belonged to him, a check on the serial numbers the next day revealed that those bikes had been reported stolen. Both bikes were worth $1,800.

I know I'm a sap, but I can't help but think of this song when the protests are going well.