Obama Explained What Occupy Means: Just go watch the damn speech the President gave yesterday in Kansas. Everything he said should be obvious.
Diaz Proposes Comprehensive Solution to Police Oversight Through Sheer Platitude: After scrutiny from the public, local elected officials, the NAACP, and the Department of Justice, SPD Chief John Diaz will oversee a "complete revamp" of "professional standards and expectations" with "two new panels" to oversee the use of force, all informing a "top-to-bottom review and rewrite" of "policies and procedures."
The Best Hair in Prison: Former Illinois governor Rod Blagolevich faces sentencing today on 18 charges of corruption related to his attempt to auction off Barack Obama's old Senate seat.
The Private Life of a Boy Billionaire: Some of Mark Zuckerberg's private Facebook photos have been revealed by a bunch of smart-ass hackers with a well-developed sense of irony.
Proposed Borg Landing Site in Pioneer Square: Via a 25-story Manchurian "building" proposal in the historical Pioneer Square district.
Former State Senator Accused of Campaign Fund Misuse: Among other allegations, former Senator Dave Schmidt of Edmonds is said to have used the remaining $32,000 in his campaign bank account to reimburse lost wages, and notes "I felt I was in the right."
Gorby Says Russian Election Should Be Scrapped: "Literally with every coming day, more and more Russians come to doubt that the announced election results are honest," the former General Secretary stated, calling for a new poll of the electorate.
Gadhafi Son Foiled in Plot to Move to Mexico: Saadi Gadhafi would have faked Mexican citizenship in order to buy a string of safe houses throughout the country, but Mexico foiled the plot, as announced by Interior minister Alejandro Poire.
Today is Pearl Harbor day, a day which will live in some sort of poignant negative/hostile sounding noun. On a completely unrelated note, here's a fantastic song by Lyle Lovett that's been stuck in my head for a while. I hope that one day I, too, could be good enough at singing to marry Julia Roberts.