The Stranger Bomb Squad Opens Possible Santorum-Based Hate Mail Object

Comments

1
Good thing you had that punch bowl on hand in case there was an explosion in need of last-second containment.
2
Okay, but, like... have any of you ever actually read a Slog thread?

I mean, you realize that there are actual, seriously crazy people who are obsessed with The Stranger in general and Dan in particular, right? And that this actually could have been a bomb, or someone's disease-ridden poop? I mean, I would actually bet cash money that Alleged has tried to send y'all poop bombs in the past and has only been confounded by being too stupid and insane to actually successfully mail a package. I'm picturing a parcel in the outgoing mailbox of his next door neighbor, wrapped in brown paper and strapping tape, with "HOMOLIBERAL SHIT LIFESTYLE HEADQUARTERS" for an address and "NO TAX$$$ FOR FAG-LOVING POSTMAN" in place of stamps, and on the bottom of the label in little letters, "xoxo Danny, from Rush-ia with love."

Anyway, you people are nuts. That could have been an actual mail bomb, or more likely, poop.
3
"you realize that there are actual, seriously crazy people who are obsessed with The Stranger in general and Dan in particular, right?"

IT WAS PERIOD TROLL ALL ALONG
4
So long as it wasn't sent from Spokane, you should be safe.
6
@ 3 - undead ayn rand, you owe me a new keyboard! (Unless you can tell me the best way to get a mouthful of tea out of the keys PRONTO! :)

And yeah guys, what balderdash said.. I'm glad you choose the extra-heavy-duty-industrial-faux-leopard gloves that protect against biological warfare, but... I do worry about youse guys sometimes. What with all y'all's pot-stirring and stuff. And Karen in San Diego and such...

Just.. Be Safe Out There, dang it!
7
http://www.thestranger.com/slog/archives…

^ Most likely reason for the reason for the tampon. Also, USPS raised prices on Sunday, so that could be why it was sent back. The person probably didn't want to give their own address for fear of some Santorum retaliation (gross)
8
This is hilarious. How did Megan get selected for this task??
9
I'd bet money this had nothing to do with any of our trolls. However, I'd also bet that they're sitting there reading this thinking "that's a great idea." You blew it.
10
Haven't you guys ever heard of Teh Google?

On this day after the anniversary of Roe v. Wade, I call for you, America, to respect the rights of the man born without a uterus to have one of his own to manage. Donations can be sent to Rick Santorum's Florida campaign headquarters.

1680 Fruitville Road
Suite 102
Sarasota, FL 34236


Courtesy of Jezebel.
11
Also.

I'm imploring all of you to consider making a small donation to the Rick Santorum campaign today, so that we can help make Rick's dream of owning a uterus a reality. If you can't afford to donate a uterus, look inside your heart and consider donating something smaller, to help Rick care for his new friend.

1 Tampon will provide protection from three to seven hours of menstruation
1 Pad will provide Rick's new uterus with less invasive protection and overnight protection
1 Pregnancy test will let Rick know when his uterus is pregnant
1 Pack of Plan B will give Rick the opportunity to flush it down the toilet while crying "No! No! I'm going to have your baby!"
1 IUD will give Rick the opportunity to pretend that it's a Jaws Harp before throwing it away
$500 to $3000 will cover the cost of delivery for Rick's uterus's baby
12
Whatevs. Please to inform where I may buying pleated cuff beribboned leopard print gloves.
13
@10: Jezebel fucks it up, yet again.
14
Also: stationery.
15
@2 - there's almost no way it could be a bomb; bombs fit I'm boxes, and boxes have to be mailed in person at the P.O., with a complete return address. It *could* have been fake anthrax (real weaponized anthrax is notoriously hard to obtain, you have to be working at Ft. Ames, apparently). And poop would have been quite obvious inside a letter. Have you never sent anyth--- oh, nevermind.

That said, I'm so glad The Stranger has a Bomb Squad! I'm quite sure Ms Seling was wearing the appropriate protection of at least a bandana around her mouth & nose, and eyeglasses.

16
@14, I knew someone would have to, and I hoped it would be you. I wonder if this was sent by someone at Line Out? You know they're not allowed to use the postage meter and stuff.
17
Last summer I sent Dan an (unacknowledged) gift: a "don't make me release my flying monkeys" t-shirt. I get great amusement at the thought of the leopard-skin clad bomb squad de-toxing my gift.
18
Those gloves are more of a crime than anything that could be put into an envelope. Of course, they'll have a sitcom by February.
I'm glad you all are safe from the santorum backlash*.

*Santorum Backlash ~ Now With More Santorum, The Only Backlash Officially Endorsed by Opus T. Dei, Penguin Prelate.
19
I think crazy people forgot how to send real mail because of the Internet.
20
@ gus, no doubt a race between stm and me, but Constent cannot go uncorrected, as we know. Happy to draw the grammar-nazi flames, being safely out of range.

Re: your other conjecture, I think Line Out would have used a Ray Conniff LP sleeve sealed with duct tape.
21
What is the name for that loopy teenage girl handwriting?
22
Duh. It is a tool for catching the santorum before it drips out...
23
A 'santorum plug', if you will...
24
I hate to be paranoid, but I don't think I would have opened it. There are some truely unbalenced people out there.
25
@24, yeah but what a way to go. You'd get a Wikipedia entry for sure.
26
Wait, isn't this why you have interns? I'm calling fake.
27
I'm glad you did the whole thing while keeping your fashion sense. That's always important when dismantling possible explosive devices.