UPDATE: Fortunately, it looks like I got my panties in a twist over nothing—the story is reportedly fake. That's what I get for trusting the internet.

Jesus Christ on a thrashing cross, as if I needed another reason to avoid becoming a married Egyptian corpse, a proposed law would give husbands the legal right to initiate "Farewell Intercourse" with their corpsely wives up to six hours after death:

... the "Farewell Intercourse" law is just one of many new laws being introduced to Egyptians by the Islamist-dominated parliament. Other laws include the legal marriage age lowered to 14-years-old and women's rights to education and employment abolished.

But this isn't the first time Egyptians caught wind of the "Farewell Intercourse" law. The idea to introduce a law permitting Egyptian men to have sex with dead wives was first introduced in a Fatwa in May 2011 when Moroccan cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari declared marriage valid for widows after a spouse dies.

Um, silver lining? The new corpse-humping rule would also apply to grieving widows.

So: Even though 14-year-old girls could be coerced into marriage and women would lose access to education and employment opportunities, they would gain the right to fuck corpses, which is every little girl's dream, really.