Preserving Traditional Marriages


Specifically for ball-having humans only? Hmm, Dan.
Oh, "one," gotcha. I'd like to know what the lady one would say, though :)
The guy is "sexless." Your work is not yet finished.
If I make the bumper sticker for my own car, how can I remunerate Dan? I'll make another donation to marriage equality and hope that makes us equal.
@lilliable I'm far less sexless now than when I came up with the handle, and much of the credit is due to the illustrious Mr. Savage. For what it's worth.
Make it a fund-raiser for Planned Parenthood.
I am not allowed to get married in my State. It for some reason would destroy my neighbor's marriage.
Hey Dan Savage, you should post this:…
wow @9 that was enlightening, and encouraging. Thanks.
On a personal level, it's a nice tribute from someone who is probably well-meaning. The big picture is that Mr Savage's preserving traditional marriages (which, again, is all to the good in and of itself) being seen as any sort of reason same-sex couples become less undeserving of rights merits a huge LMB. When SSM thrives and flourishes, then I'll worry about whether OSM can be saved and how.
Um, Sexlessdad...can you elaborate? How did "teh gay" save your marriage and improve your sex life?
Doh! I should've read Dan's link.
@afinch The short version is that I've been giving myself a sexorcism by listening to old lovecast episodes, pushing the sex shame out of my mind and giving myself permission to talk to my wife openly and honestly about sex - as well as forcing the issue a little by keeping it on my mind all the time.

For the long version, read my blog
@14 - I read your blog. You are a very talented writer.

You and your wife wrote pretty much what I and Mrs. Horton would have written. Although we do a bit better in the frequency department, the lack of an enthusiastic female partner is shared. Rest assured, you have basically summarized a situation that is common in many (most? the vast majority?) of hetero marriages post-childbirth, at least in the early years. Savage has built his empire on your dilemma.

But WOW!! Holy flying spaghetti monster! You went ahead and asked for the open marriage. Your wife's reaction should be mandatory reading for all hetero-male Savage readers. Her reaction was and should have been entirely expected. The reason you had a glimpse of hope into the possibility of a non-nuclear reaction was because you - like I - have read too much of the Savage echo chamber. Dan is a brilliant writer. But he writes from the perspective of a gay man managing relationships with other men. His opinions regarding women's receptiveness on non-monogamy are shaped in part and influenced by the message board, which is completely unrepresentative of mainstream American women. The fact women are here in the first place, and especially those invested in reading and commenting, makes them sex-positive and open minded. It is a skewed sampling, nonetheless.

As politically incorrect as this sounds, would you not be better off cheating VERY discreetly? Are you really better off bringing the situation - your wife's darkest fear - to light?

Keep up the good writing. Best of luck.