Slog tipper NaFun says his friends have completely lost their shit over this Gizmodo story:

Within the next year or two, the U.S. Department of Homeland Security will instantly know everything about your body, clothes, and luggage with a new laser-based molecular scanner fired from 50 meters away. From traces of drugs or gun powder on your clothes to what you had for breakfast to the adrenaline level in your body—agents will be able to get any information they want without even touching you.

And without you knowing it...Their plan is to install this molecular-level scanning in airports and border crossings all across the United States. The official, stated goal of this arrangement is to be able to quickly identify explosives, dangerous chemicals, or bioweapons at a distance.

You should go read the whole story. Apparently, the machine "fires a laser to provide molecular-level feedback at distances of up to 50 meters in just picoseconds" and can detect "trace amounts of cocaine on your dollar bills to gunpowder residue on your shoes." Gizmodo continues, "Forget trying to sneak a bottle of water past security—they will be able to tell what you had for breakfast in an instant while you're walking down the hallway." This has to be hyperbole...doesn't it? I mean, this is the same blog that compared Jeff Bezos to "a lion on the savannah," so it's not like accuracy has always been a goal of theirs. Jesus Christ, someone just tell me it's hyperbole so I can get some sleep tonight.