Mayans Lose Credibility: Never trust a Mayan, as my mother always said. Ah, well. I guess I have some Christmas shopping to do.

State Education Funding Earns a Scarlet "F." Again: The Washington Supreme Court ruled yesterday that the state legislature isn't making enough of an effort to fund K-12 education after their McCleary decision.

Fancy Pants Yancey Swears He's No Slumlord: Although he owes the city $1.76 million in fines relating to health and safety violations at two of his eight Seattle rental properties.

Progress for Elephants: The Seattle City Council has called for a task force to evaluate the health and welfare of our zoo's three aging elephants.

No Cocks in the Stew Pot: The city will begin hosting women-only swim times at four local pools in March.

Don't Wanna Get Raped, Ladies? Don't go out at night and carry chili powder with you everywhere, says an Indian police commissioner, responding to a horrific gang rape of a woman on a bus. Remember: If you're unarmed and you have a vagina, you're asking for it.

The Bigoted Specter of Todd Akin: "A defense spending bill set to become law contains a provision that could allow discrimination against gay and lesbian service members and other minorities in the military," warn legal experts. The measure stems from a proposal put forth by Todd "Legitimate Rape" Akin. I bet he's a hoot at parties.

Marine Convicted of Corpse Urination: A US marine staff sergeant has been demoted and fined $500 after videos of four soldiers urinating on Taliban corpses hit Youtube and other video sites in January.

A Ban on Military-Style Assault Weapons: President Obama released a video this morning asking people to support his plan to ban the weapons, high-capacity ammunition clips, and requiring background checks for all gun purchases.

Suzy Favor Hamilton: The former Olympic runner was outed as leading a secret double life as an escort:

Soon after the story appeared online, Favor Hamilton released a series of tweets saying in part that she was "drawn to escorting in large part because it provided many coping mechanisms for me when I was going through a very challenging time with my marriage and my life."

Ugh: "An 23-year-old Argentine woman has agreed to marry the man convicted of killing her twin sister two years ago."

Finally, look at the tree! Look at the tree! Awwww, look at the tree.