Police Chief Diaz, with mustache.
  • City of Seattle
  • How it used to be.
Tips are flooding in to The Stranger newsroom that the mustache of Seattle Police Chief John Diaz—a long-time, faithful companion of the police chief himself—has gone missing.

It's unclear at this point whether the separation was amicable or the result of a robbery or freak shearing accident. All we can say with certainty is that today is a bleak day for Diaz's vulnerable upper lip and mustache riders throughout our fair city.

I'll update this story as soon as we know more.