After midnight on Tuesday, Seattle police officer Adley Shepherd noticed a disturbance near Pike and 10th Street Ave, near Neumos involving a group of seven or so men. As he approached the group in his patrol car, he noted that two men "immediately part[ed] ways," and headed from the scene in opposite directions, according to a police report.

The diligent Officer Shepherd got out to speak with the remaining men, one of whom "claimed that he was shaving the tip off of his cigarette with his small pocket knife" when "without warning or provocation of any sort, one of the two suspects that I saw walk off pulled a knife and placed it against [the victim's] neck as if he was going to cut his throat."

"[The victim] feared for his safety and did not react," the police report adds.

Just as suddenly, the alleged knife-wielder released his supposed victim "without inflicting any bodily injury." Although the victim was "noticeably upset," he did not identify which of the two men had threatened him and told Officer Shepherd that he didn't want the police involved. The victim mentioned he planned to spend the night at his girlfriend's place, but would first stop to buy cigarettes at the gas station on Pike and Broadway.

Officer Shepherd could've resumed his patrol at that point. But like a modern-day McNulty, he knew better, and suspected that whoever threatened the victim "was most likely in the same vicinity where the victim was heading to buy cigarettes," according to his police report.

Sure enough, at the gas station he spotted the two suspects and ordered them to stop. Shepherd frisked both and found a "red colored Husky box cutter knife" in the second suspect's pocket, "just as he started reaching for it," he says in the report. As the victim arrived at the gas station, backup officers arrived. They identified outstanding warrants and thefts tied to one of the suspects, the report states (the other suspect was released). The victim identified the suspect as having threatened him, but reiterated that he didn't want to press charges, Shepherd notes.

Nevertheless, the suspect was transported to the King County Jail where, during intake, another officer recovered "a small baggie concealed between his butt cheeks."

The baggie contained a white powder, according to the report. Shepherd retrieved the 1.4-ounce baggie. The substance field-tested positive for cocaine, and the officer duly deposited the knife and cocaine baggie into the SPD Evidence Unit drop-box, the report concludes.

That's one less knife-wielding cocaine-in-the-butt smuggler on the streets of Capitol Hill, according to police. And yet, Officer Shepherd's report is written in clear, dry, matter-of-fact prose. There's not a hint of pride, satisfaction, or amusement with the results of his indefatigable police work.

Take a bow, Shepherd.