A notorious serial killer died today in California:
A serial murderer, a serial rapist, a Satan worshiper, a man who inflicted physical and emotional pain on his victims in myriad ways. Richard Ramirez was all those things, but to Californians terrorized during his violent spree in the spring and summer of 1985, he was simply the "Night Stalker." [On] Friday morning, Richard Ramirez died of natural causes at Marin General Hospital north of San Francisco, according to the California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation. Ramirez became the 59th inmate in the state to die in this manner while awaiting execution, not including 22 who committed suicide and six dead of other causes.
And while gay people cannot legally marry in California—come on, SCOTUS—straight serial killers can:
By the time of the trial, Ramirez had fans who were writing him letters and paying him visits. Beginning in 1985, freelance magazine editor Doreen Lioy wrote him nearly 75 letters during his incarceration. In 1988 he proposed to her, and on October 3, 1996, they were married in California's San Quentin State Prison.
Remember, kids, marriage is about providing children with a mother and a father. And who doesn't doubt that Richard Ramirez would've made a wonderful father? If only, you know, he could've consummated his marriage. Which he couldn't. Because he was a serial killer on death row. But still: on the day Richard Ramirez's penis and Doreen Lioy's vagina were united in holy matrimony the totally sacred sanctity of marriage was protected and God smiled down from heaven because marriage is about uniting one dick—any dick—with one pussy.