SL Letter of the Day: Cousin Couple


Danny finds family reunions a great place to pick up people.....
Why would you even mention it? I wanked with my first cousin when we were 16. I have never shared that information (until now, but this is largely anonymous) with any person I have had a relationship with. I'm not ashamed, but meh, it's nobodies business really.
So fucking your second cousin won't give you three-headed babies? That sucks.
WTF would you ask if you need to bring this up? "young female" as in 12 years old?!?

It makes me wonder why she is asking.

1) is this the most she has done with anyone at any time and thinks she must disclose all sexual endeavors prior to meeting "the one"?

2) Is she itching to have something edgy to tell about herself - a verbal exhibitionist? Yeah, it has a bit of a twist to it, more than "I met a guy in college and we had sex" but she calls herself "one shameful secret" making me think she either doesn't understand how pedestrian this is or she is trying to conflate a boring sex life into some GGG cred.
Einstein married his cousin.
If you support gay marriage, but don't support first or second cousin marriage, then you are a bigot. The "love is love" argument works here too. Just ask the Muslims.
Go Team Hapsburg!

But seriously, I do have a few hot cousins.
Unless there was a child or a persistent STI as a result, your previous sexual history is no one's business but your own.
Must agree with the "Why does this score on the Mention-o-Meter?" crowd.

Technically, inbreeding with second cousins can cause undesirable effects if it persists in the same population for many generations. Not something people need to worry about in the modern U.S.

@7 THAT is what I'm talking about. They married their related-on-both-sides-as-often-as-not cousins for a little too long and got a crazy chick, a chick whose fertility problems caused the English Reformation, and eventually that dude who couldn't even chew for himself, but it took a while.
I don't know, @9, I do dig a really prognathous jaw on a woman.
Another example, though a lot less worrisome (not like one of the lesbians in last week's Savage Love), of someone who is just BURNING with a compulsion to confess something horribly shocking (nah, not so much) about her sexual past to a current partner. I wonder if it's not a grotesque test, to see if the partner will stay or leave ... once the "truth" is revealed. So she can then berate herself for being such a bad person. Hmmm ... sounds a lot like religious guilt.
@11: I dated a woman who trotted out her mental illness and voluntary commitment to an institution on the second date. In a "take it or leave it" format.

It certainly demonstrated a lack of that "emotional intelligence" Dan talks about in which you meter out the painful or awkward details at appropriate times. Rather than enable her to berate herself, my sense (we continued to travel in the same circles) was that it was to avoid any possible pain from any possible attachment to someone else. "Reject me early, before I care, rather than hurt me deeply once I'm emotionally committed."

But it also had the effect of scaring off the moderately sane - not because of the mental-health stuff, but for the lack of wisdom and decorum about disclosing before anyone needed or wanted any gory details.
Apparently second cousins are only about as genetically similar as two random people off the street.
Levitical proscriptions against "uncovering the nakedness" of kin don't seem to have a particular problem with cousins.
Meh. A paper I read some time back said that the incidence of birth abnormalities in children from first cousin couplings is about the same as that of women who have children over the age of 40, and no one is jumping down their throats calling them gross and perverse. My guess is that second cousin couplings would not register in terms of added risk and really if you're using contraception the whole issue is moot.

Yes cousin reproduction can be problematic, but only when it happens many times over the course of generations (see the European royal families, or really family, since they are all related). I get that people will find it icky to think sexually of others you've known your entire life and been told to identify as family, but "ick" does not equal risk. I would hope that at least in this forum, people would understand that their personal discomfort at a sexual idea should have zero impact on its validity, to say nothng of its legality.
The initials of the person from the CousinCouples website are K.C.? Is the full name Kissin' Cousins?

are you writing Savage Love fan fic?

good lard...take a deep breath.
@5 He was also a CPOS
@16: Volunteer it? Why? I don't see any reason to volunteer this any more than I would volunteer the names or relationships of any of the people I slept with in the past, none of whom were cousins of any Nth-degree.

Get comfortable with it, sure. But letting go of it and neglecting to mention it isn't stuffing it down the memory hole, it's simply that it isn't important enough to mention.
Genetic material shared with first cousins: around 12%

Second cousins, around 3%

Neither is a big deal at all unless your family makes a habit of it. I'd totally bang a hot first cousin. If I had one.
Pretty sure George Michael would have something to say about this. Or just dial up Les Cousins Dangereux on Netflix.