Heartbreaking: Dying Gay Man Flies to Maryland to Marry His Partner of Twenty Years


This is why we fight. This is why we need marriage equality NOW.

Congratulations, Arthur and Jim. I so wish you could have done this earlier.

Guess the Savage Train has moved on....choo choo...
Obama?? Obama? You can fix this! Do it!
@2: Huh? Wha?
@2: Yes. Because it is only possible for a person to care about one significant issue at a time.

How disgusting, tragic, and heartbreaking to see toll ALS takes. God almighty, to see the poor bastard being slotted into the plane in his stretcher ...

How disgusting, tragic, and heartbreaking to see the lengths these two men are forced to go, and at what expense, just to get hitched - in a country in which there exists such a thing as 72 hour marriages and drive-in wedding chapels - for straights.

But wow, what a beautiful love story between these two men. Painful, heartbreaking, maddening, yes, but astonishingly beautiful.

This really should be required viewing for ALL of those on the other side. What argument could they possibly have?


What argument?

Oh, well that's easy. As much as these two gentlemen have a right to confuse love with their unnatural, profoundly unhealthy homosexual relationship they do not have a right to define key social and legal terms for the self justification of their tiny self selected minority. Particularly not so that they can destroy marriage for those of us who don't suffer from the pitiable mental illness the urge to homosexual acts is symptomatic of.

You're welcome.
Dan - I live in Cincinnati and read this article in the paper over my coffee Sunday morning. A significant point that you didn't mention, and I didn't catch until the end of the article, is that on top of it being a portrayal of what this couple had to go through to get married it is also an endorsement of marriage equality by the editorial board of the most conservative newspaper in the state of Ohio. I think that is huge.
Yep, clearly the love between these two is all about sex.
LOL @7.

Yes, I see hetero marriages crumbling all around us now that these two old guys got legally married on a Maryland taxiway. Straights are lining up around the block to get divorced, and it's all the fault of teh gheys!!!
@7: Careful SB! You've over played your hand. You need to sound slightly less like a cartoon villain if you want people to believe that you are anything other than troll, only here to stir the pot. If you're too outrageous you actually won't outrage any one. It's a delicate balance.
As much as these two gentlemen have a right to confuse love with their unnatural, profoundly unhealthy homosexual relationship . . .
On what basis, according to what qualifications, should we consider you an expert, or even a credible layperson, on the subject of love, and how it is to be correctly defined?
. . . they do not have a right to define key social and legal terms for the self justification of their tiny self selected minority.
No, but voters and or the delegates they empower to carry out their will can define those social and legal terms for the social and legal purposes those contracts fulfill. And since that definition has no bearing on your own marriage, or even your own beliefs regarding marriage, you'll have to do a better job than you have here or elsewhere in illustrating your stake.
Particularly not so that they can destroy marriage for those of us who don't suffer from the pitiable mental illness the urge to homosexual acts is symptomatic of.
Apart from an unwarranted dig disguised as a medical assertion, how is "marriage" as you understand it even so much as nicked, let alone destroyed, by the legal recognition of homosexual marriage? How is it more damaging to the institution, from your perspective, than any other marriages which one is welcome to consider a sham under the doctrine of free exercise?
All I need to see about homosexuality is on display at any of the disgusting "Pride" parades. Deviants, freaks, perverts and general scum make up a considerable portion of your so called healthy expression of sexuality.

All I need to know about homosexuality is that something any 16 year old kid could figure out about how to have sex you folks can't understand. It's like when I was watching my toddler with one of those benches with the round and square holes diligently trying to push the circle into the square, only with adults.

If you have a problem with basic bioligical reality, you have my sympathies. If you expect others to celebrate and applaud your inability to figure out something as basic as sex you have my oposition. If you wish to attack key social institutions to satisfy your toddler fits of pique you have my repugnance.
In honor of the validity and love at the center of this union, my response @7 is exactly what I've said to the miserable self-centered jerks at straight weddings: Nobody cares what you think. If you despise the couple so much, why are you here? Shut up and eat some cake.

You know being a dick doesn't actually make you interesting, right? As for mental illness, the APA took gay off the list four decades ago. Keep your batshit current.
Oh, and once again, please refrain from the fallacious use of the word equality to define the barbaric perversion that homosexual marriage is.

We have full marriage equality now. Any consenting adult man may marry any consenting adult woman. Ergo, full marriage equality. Thanks so much for correcting your error.
@ 16, kinder, gentler S(O)B didn't last long.

The APA makes up their 'list,' the DSM, by popular acclamation, rather than by scientific method. I'm entirely uninterested in what those quacks think, particularly when reality and they are so clearly at odds.

Reality is what it is. I don't use the words fag or dyke or use insults, since they are a de facto lowering of myself to the level of, say Dan Savage. But if you find reality offensive your problem is not with reality but your understanding of it.
I'm sitting here in my cubicle with tears in my eyes, both at the beauty of their love and the unfairness of the lengths they had to go to in order to marry.

Where did I indicate any despite of the couple? On the contrary I feel deeply sorry for two men so lost to healty sexuality. Just as I feel deep sympathy for a victim of schizophrenia or any other debilitating mental illness.
@ 19, once you acquaint yourself with reality, you'll finally speak about it with a tiny bit of learning. (Hint: imposing digma upon it only changes you, not reality itself.)
Dogma. Damn phone.
@18: "I'm entirely uninterested in what those quacks think, particularly when reality and they are so clearly at odds."

I think the irony of this statement from you is fairly self-evident.

@19: "I don't use the words fag or dyke or use insults, since they are a de facto lowering of myself to the level of, say Dan Savage."

Since when?
@8: Exactly right. The fact that the quote below comes from the Cincinnati Enquirer editorial board (and not the Plain Dealer) is huge. I predict the vote will be solid in 2014 to overturn the gay marriage ban amendment. I will work my knuckles to the bone to make that happen.
But we believe this is the strongest argument of all: That couples who are already fulfilling the responsibilities of marriage, caring for each other in sickness and in health, should enjoy the privileges of marriage as well. They should be able to depend on the rights that many of us take for granted. They should be able to raise their children without having to carry adoption papers on a flash drive around their neck, and own property together without worry of what will happen to it upon death. They should be able to marry in the presence of family and friends, no matter where they live, and finally feel like full citizens no matter whom they love.

Since when?

Oh, since about two weeks ago when my hater evangelical pastor delivered an impassioned sermon about the moral responsibility of what we say and how we say it, with specific reference to the debate on gay marriage and other current political issues. See, that hating SOB fundamentalist who hates gays was worried about conversations he'd heard that didn't sound very Christian to him, but you know how those haters are....

I needed to hear it, since I had gotten to use words I'd punish either of my children for using, in a tone they'd likewise be disciplined for employing.

So to the extent that I did use those words or substitute insult for discussion, or to the extent that instead of deep compassion for those afflicted with homosexual inclinations I expressed what with shame I can only honestly call hatred, I am sincerely apologetic.

Which doesn't change the fundamental illness of the inclination, nor the truth that having chosen a lifestyle an adult accepts the consequences of it rather than complaining about them.
Yes, heartbreaking, but oh, such a moving and loving wedding and relationship. Beautiful.
@ 27, if it's true, why isn't there any proof?
It was very hard to see the image through the tears running down my face. I wish I could have put the Supreme Court in a time machine and gone back about 3 years . . . or 30 . . . or 200. But at least there's this moment of grace.

SB, you're ready for a medical journal yourself by proving that rabies can be chronic. Just don't get spittle flecks on the rest of us.

"I don't use the words fag or dyke or use insults"

In the span of about a month...

Fight the good fight, Baronnelle Stutzman. Good for you. All decent Americans support you.

As for the fags in the AG office or the fags suing her- how about going to a fag florist? It isn't as though they're rare. No? Want to make trouble just to make trouble for a decent person? I'm shocked- shocked I tell you!

Stutzman is asserting her constitutionally mandated right to free religious expression and denying these fags something they could get just as easily from 4 or 5 other florists in their community. The faggots are asserting some imagined right to force someone to sell them something whether they wish it or not.
And you're on the side of the faggots...? Hmm.

Faggots and dykes chose their behavior. Whether they chose their inclinations isn't legally relevant. I may be inclined to punch someone on the nose, but the law doesn't permit me to induldge in the behavior. But in the choice of behavior any claim to protected class status isn't merely laughable, it is insulting to those who had no choices.

Keep it up pervert faggots! Let decent Americans know that there really is no stopping point in your incessant demands to be priviledged citizens with the right to force others to your minority agenda. Yesterday marriage, today the thought police (albeit in flamboyant dress with a silly lisp...)

You know what? I fully support EQUAL rights for fags and dykes too. Deviant adult perverts have the right to be deviant perverts with other consenting adults whatever I think of their lifestyle choices. What I don't now and never will support is the right of fags and dykes to dictate legal and social terms for the 97% of their fellow citizens who aren't fags or dykes.

Equating real civil rights movements to marginalized people based on non-chosen characteristics to the effort of fags and dykes to set terms for everyone else isn't just wrong. It's profoundly insulting to those who had real civil rights challenges.

I refused to renew their lease, yes. Just as I refuse to do business with any suppliers or subcontractors who are owned by or hire fags or dykes. If they wish to make war on decent people, marriage and family, I refuse to make it easier for them with my hard earned money.

First, the idiotic comparison to inter-racial marriage is just that, idiotic. My wife had no choice in the color of her skin, nor did I. Under common justice we as a country decided that penalizing someone for something over which they had no choice is unacceptable. Faggots and dykes choose the sole thing that they're claiming differentiates them, their aberrant sexual choices. In common justice we should accord them the right to be deviant

@27: So you're trading outright hate speech for gently phrased condescension? Are you sure you're not going just going into politics?

I see, I think.

In your view a doctor treating someone for cancer is gentle condescension in sympathizing with his or her patient?

Is a mechanic saying 'sorry, but the engine is blown' gently condescending to his or her customer?

How about a psychiatrist empathizing with their mentally ill patient? Condescending?

I feel as badly for someone suffering from unhealthy sexual inclinations like homosexuality as I would for someone suffering from a sexual attraction to animals or children. That doesn't mean I can honestly say that any of those inclinations are good to exercise for the sufferer, nor can I condone political moves to normalize or celebrate any of these impulses.

Again, if plainly stated reality is difficult for you to hear your problem is not with the statement but with reality.

Hater, hate speech, homophobia (speaking of the APA I'm unfamiliar with a formal classification of this supposed disorder, so if you'd kindly stop using a fictitious term that'd be great) are all polemical terms without real meaning.

It is hateful to use the word faggot or dyke, just as it is to use the word nigger or kike or any of the other vulgar terms used to indicate dislike of a type or class of person. But hate speech and homophobia as used by your friends means usually 'I don't like what you have to say, so I'll throw an insult out to deter you from saying it.'

Frankly there are plenty of existing English words for an educated person to use that curse words, vulgarities and made up nonsense really don't add to any discussion.
Seattleblues, how does it feel to lose yet again?
@34: Doctors, mechanics, and psychiatrists are trained professionals uniquely qualified and specifically trained to identify disorder and disease. Your amateur spouting is not analogous.
@35: I wasn't aware that "discussion" was your endgame. And since your recent conversion is so new and fragile, forgive me if, for the time being, I assume it's just the same old hateful bullshit rendered in less profane terms. There's nothing fictitious about hate speech; it just comes in many forms.
If we are talking about reality... voters voted marriage equality in Maryland. The Supreme Court declared that denying federal benefits due to homosexuality is wrong. So, the inescapable, unarguable reality is you and your hatred lost on this one. They have every right to do what they did and did not define anything. The American constitutional process did.
@26 It is an unexpected and in some respects an unwanted initiative. That said if it makes it on the ballot, fuck yeah all in to the bone, pass the fucker. As goes Ohio so goes the nation.

@Seattleblues, dude relax God will forgive you for that blow job you gave at 14 while at church camp.
(Blubbering like a baby). Oh my God. I'm so glad I waited until I got home from work to watch that video!
Interesting. SB ignored me @ 29. Surely I shouldn't take it as a sign that he can't come up with any proof of his assertions regarding the nature of same-sex attraction, should I?
@18: Sure, but your definitions have such a strong basis in objective science, eh? I'll take the considered opinions of hundreds of educated and experienced psychiatrists and psychologists over your whiny rants.
@21: You feel sorry for gay people because they can't enjoy your favorite kind of sex life (with a woman, presumably through a hole in a bedsheet). So...you refuse to rent to people that you just feel sorry for? I'd say you're either judgmental of them or scared of them, and neither is remotely similar to sympathy.
@34: The difference between homosexuality and cancer, a damaged engine, and psychological illness is that The Gay isn't actually bad for you. Sure, you can never have biological children with your mate, but then again you never have to worry about accidental pregnancy. But it would be unfair of me to expect you to pay attention to reality.
@35: Sorry about your delicate fucking sensibilities.
@16: "We have full marriage equality now. Any consenting adult man may marry any consenting adult woman. Ergo, full marriage equality. Thanks so much for correcting your error."

Granting same-sex marriage rights to Americans will grant those rights to homosexuals, heterosexuals and everyone in between, equally. Thanks to the hard work of gay rights advocates, you now have the right to marry someone of your same sex in many states of our union. Whether you choose to exercise that right or not is entirely up to you. You're welcome. :)
I am grateful for every vile post that Mr. Blues makes railing against marriage equality....because in so doing, he is only serving to guide those reasonable people who are ambivalent about same sex marriage to choose a side. Most who read the jaded words of Mr. Blues will realize how easy it is to become a proponent of marriage equality. I'm eager to read about how the change in Washington state's marriage laws have (or will) erode the marriage of Mr. & Mrs. Blues, not because I want their marriage to fail but because I can't imagine how it would be in any way related to the marriages of same sex couples. Knowing that he has such concerns about the private lives of others, I have great confidence that he'll be pleased to share his own details.
Seattleblahs can't stand to have a thing of beauty just be apparently, he has to stink it up.
@32 - That was awesome. Well played.

When spewing hate from behind the mask no longer suffices your cowardly "bully fetish" and you seek out other cowards to escalate your obsession to physical violence, just know everything you say in this forum can and will be used against you.

Oh, and thanks for using Flash. ;)

SeattleBloooos, I'm glad you're back from rehab or that town where the Osmonds perform in the Midwest or Jonestown or wherever you went for awhile to recharge your lunacy batteries. The LOLZ were getting thin around here without you.
Damn, if I were SeattleBlues, I'd be really pissed that my tax dollars were going to subsidize gay families. They're buying homes (they're homo-ners, get it?!) using federally subsidized mortgages, paying less property tax probably, sending their kids to public schools . . . and SeattleBlues is paying for it all!

I sure would be pissed, and there'd be ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I could do to stop my hard-earned money from subsidizing those beautiful, hard-working families.
I must say, as an EMT, I can't imagine a better medical transport call to be a part of. I mean, except for the part where it's really fucked up that they couldn't simply do that in their own state, like twenty years ago. I am actually jealous of that crew. It's awesome when love wins.
Reality reality reality reality reality
Please don't feed the troll.
Really, we've traded anontroll for two non-anon trolls?
Damn it, I know better than to watch these videos at work!
I want to be perfectly clear. As a card carrying lesbian with several world championships under my belt, I can get the square peg in the round hole every time, given enough foreplay and lube.

Just cause Seattleblues has to play with his peg all by his lonesome, doesnt mean it isnt awesome for two men in Ohio to fly to Maryland to get married. Just sucks that they have to.
Wait, I just figured out my HUMP entry for this year.
Bravo for your patience and gentle persistence when faced with ... uh ... geometric challenges.

And a big BOO to the miserable bigot who just can't stay away from the subject he finds so loathesome. Curious, eh?
SB have you shown your Pastor your posting history here? I challenge you to do so. I'll make it easy. You don't have to show him any of the comments such as the one Sandai collected of your past frothings. Just the ones on this thread.
See what he has to say about them.
If you are loathe to do so, think about why. Why you might not want him to read the things you say.

I have always been a staunch advocate for marriage equality. Any consenting man should be able to marry any consenting woman without the state or any person interfering.

I object to redefining marriage for the convenience of a tiny self selected minority, as would any rational man, but marriage equality doesn't bother me at all.

Again, if someone finds the truth painful or offensive or difficult anger at the person telling the truth won't solve their problem.

I've written nothing offensive in word or tone. If a reader found it to be either their problem is internal, not with me.
Sorry, 60 addressed Lissa's comments at 58.
The video is inspiring and heart wrenching. Thank you for sharing.

Stop feeding the troll. It's disrespectful to the grooms. This post and video is about love and overcoming social stigma, not allowing ignorance and hatred a voice. You all know better.
@61: Then show your Pastor what you have written on this thread. See what he thinks about it.
If the idea of him reading your words here makes you uncomfortable, ask yourself why.

I honestly wondered for a moment if groom was an internet neologism, like troll, since in a real marriage ceremony the word would never be expressed in the plural form.

As for hatred you clearly don't understand the term, since I expressed none.

Unless like your fellow travelers you use that word to express disagreement with an argument's content rather than the actual meaning of the word .

Repeating a question after receiving an answer puzzles me.
@ 64,

As for hatred you clearly don't understand the term, since I expressed none.

See @32. You're relative civility now doesn't erase the hare you've expressed in those comments. Only a full apology would do that - one where you acknowledge that you said those things out of hate, and admit that, your personal opinions notwithstanding, you should address gays and lesbians with full respect if their humanity at all times.

Until that happens, your comment history, complete with your "I have to behave 'cus preacher said so" rationalizations reveal your true feelings.
@ 64, let us not forget your admission to denying a lease renewal to your lesbian tenants, which you said was prompted by the passage of same sex marriage in Washington. I'm curious as to whether you shared that story with your preacher, whether your preacher approved or not, and if he did, what was the theological basis for it.
@64: You have not answered my question. I will ask it again.

Have you shown your Pastor what you have written on this thread?
That requires a simple yes or no answer.

The follow up question is also simple:

If you have not shown your Pastor your words here, or are reluctant to do so, why not?
SB, since you keep repeating that any consenting adult male and consenting adult female can marry, does that mean you support incestual marriages between brother and sister, cousins, and parents with their grown children?

Nope, but hey, if you're looking to start some kind of movement to legalize such things The Stranger is your venue buddy!

I'd say good luck with that, but wouldn't really mean it so I can't.
@ 69, don't forget to answer Lissa and me.
@49: 'Homo-ners'? Really? Seriously? That was awful.

I am so stealing that.
@55: Yes, but can you get the round hole in the round hole? That's really more of a concern for lesbians.
I'm sorry, I just had to.

@59: Marriage equality, right? Any adult can marry someone of the opposite sex. EXPLAIN TO ME how that is substantially different from allowing any adult to marry someone of the same race.
@60: "I've written nothing offensive in word or tone. If a reader found it to be either their problem is internal, not with me."
Oh okay. If I call your wife a "jigaboo" I haven't said anything offensive, right? It's her problem if she thinks it is! That's how it is when you rant on and on about fags and dykes. But to give the dickhead his due, you HAVE refrained from using those words for about two weeks. You want a cookie for that? I haven't gone around calling people faggot since middle school. That's about a DECADE.
Thank you, Seattle Blues, for your openness and forthrightness. I much prefer your methods to the "I don't want to use the government to forward an issue," or "I think the government should not get involved" refusal with no ownership I have been exposed to here in Rochester over not being able to fly the rainbow flag at County Hall for Pride Day. If you should ever ask for me or my brothers and sisters to sell you any merchandise, spray water on your burning home or remove a tumor from your brain, I hope that you will understand our reluctance to disturb your God Given destiny.And your right to live your life without outside interference.