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Comments
Good god!!!!! I would hate to imagine what he thinks "heavy S&M" is
How in the hell do you know that you want to do that to yourself? I would sooner pour gravy on my rose bush because that seems like a more realistic non sequitur. How do you wake up and decide that would be a fun activity. Why would you want to hurt yourself? Particularly in an area that gives so much pleasure. I have read that S&M does not necessarily mean you have deep psychological problems and I have to accept that. It is difficult to quantify though as there is such a broad spectrum, but some activities certainly seem to point towards self-loathing and punishment for wanting pleasure.
Anyway, this guy sounds like he would be really annoying to have turn up at a play party. Let's hope he reads the damn books before he turns up wherever and than pisses people off because they have normal getting-to-know-you-at-a-party small talk and not just wild fantasy fetish-y sex with everyone walking in the door.
What do you happen to have around the house that could hang from a shoelace without slipping out of the knot, and weighs the most it can w/o breaking the shoelace (or you), and will hang freely in a relatively tight space?
I would imagine it would start with yanking your crank extra hard while wanking, discovering you like it, yanking even harder, and starting to wonder how you could increase and focus the sensation beyond what such a blunt instrument as your hand from the angles available to it.
I didn't read this as the guy having a thing for frying pans. I read it as poorly thought out but nevertheless creative problem solving. And it leaves both hands free.
The second aspect that is important to keep in mind is that the largest component to arousal is psychological. You can be engaging in physically sexual activities and not be interested or in the mood and then it will not be very pleasurable. Or you can be engaging in no physical activities at all, but be highly psychologically aroused and it can be very pleasurable. There is evidence that some women can orgasm from fantasy alone. So, if a physical activity is psychologically arousing, it can be very pleasurable regardless of how it would come across outside of a sexual context. What things are psychologically arousing and how your body interprets physical stimuli are both going to be vastly variable from person to person, which is why some people will enjoy things that seem completely baffling to other people.
@5+1! I think he hasn't done it -- a cast iron pan would weigh, oh, 2kg or more -- not my thing but I'm guessing that's a lot to have tied to one's glans for >15min and only get a "little" blue-ish. Probably he's a first timer looking for good advice given how much BS is online, or he's beating off about writing to Dan. Or he's incredibly naive and thinks the "women" who are answering his ad are really women and really into doing the stuff they are writing him about.
@4 As others have suggested, it's probably something one gets into gradually. Maybe he starts tightening his grip while jerking off and all of a sudden he can't squeeze the thing hard enough. Maybe one of his friends showed him something 'weird' from the internet and instead of being grossed out he got a huge boner.
In pair-bonded creatures like ourselves, selection is more in favor of keeping the male around post-coitus, since males contribute to the offspring's fitness through care-taking behavior.
Also, yes, any dominant (male, female, or otherwise identified) who doesn't care about hurting one's bottom in BDSM play would not be welcome at any safe play party or gathering.
Also, Dan, about those lady dominants who are so impossible to find? There are websites devoted to those who would be happy to purr, "Honey, don't do that to yourself! Let me do it to you."
This sounds more like total wank fiction or "durr hurr, I sound like a total prevert!" than a real CBT fan. Especially the part where he says "As I write this". Anyone truly into CBT would be more interested in beating off at that moment in time than writing insane letters to sex advice columnists.
That, and a cast iron frying pan? That's way more weight than most guys will have anything to do with.