Sharks vs. Jets: A record amount of money has poured into the Seattle mayor's race, (most notably through independent political-action committees). "Murray’s top donors are state employees (including legislative colleagues) who have given nearly $22,000," reports the Seattle Times, while "McGinn’s top backers are city employees, including his own staff, who have given more than $36,000."

Driver Whines About Ticket for Breaking the Law: A California driver was cited Tuesday for driving while wearing Google Glass. She claims she wasn't "actively using" the glasses and now she wants to Fight! The! Man! Lady, you were still wearing a fucking computer screen in front of your eyeballs while allegedly speeding in a two-ton vehicle. Shut your cakehole, take off the glasses, and pay the goddamn ticket.

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Happy Birthday! I Didn't Get You Anything. Leaders reminisce about victories great and small as the local chapter of the NAACP turns 100.

Isn't This a Plot Line from Weeds? Federal agents in San Diego shut down a 600-yard-long tunnel they say was used for smuggling drugs. The tunnel featured electricity, ventilation, and an electronic rail system. Eight tons of marijuana and 325 pounds of cocaine were seized in a warehouse connected to the tunnel. Meanwhile, in Montreal, border patrol agents seized what appears to be three pumpkins stuffed with 2kg of cocaine from some woman's luggage. Smooth move, lady.

Free Willies: Orcas circled a Baingbridge Island ferry carrying native artifacts to the home of Seattle's namesake, Chief Sealth.

Poor People Don't Deserve to Eat: Federal food stamp benefits will be trimmed by $5 billion starting today, affecting millions of people.

Masquerading as Ugly: For Halloween, Heidi Klum eschewed sexy to embrace her inner liver spots.

Rape a Woman, Pull Some Weeds: Kenyan activists are rallying to get three men, who are accused of repeatedly raping a 16-year-old girl and then dumping her unconscious body in the pit of a latrine, charged for their alleged crime. Authorities thus far have refused to prosecute the men, opting instead to make them cut grass as punishment.

Because Young Black Men Are Inherently Suspicious: An appeals court blocked a judge's ruling that would've required changes to New York's arguably racist stop-and-frisk policy, which allows officers to stop and search anyone whom their gut tells them is up to no good.

Cat Fight: Three people were hospitalized after a knife fight following a car prowl in south Seattle.

Texas (Still) Hates Women: "A panel of three Republican judges, all of whom were appointed by President George W. Bush, granted the state of Texas’ request Wednesday night to reinstate a law that will force many of the state’s abortion clinics to close their doors," reports Think Progress. The order temporarily freezes a lower court judge’s decision that blocked a provision of the Texas law requiring abortion providers to have admitting privileges at a nearby hospital in order to perform abortions at clinics. (The LATimes has more details here.)

Who Could've Guessed? Only 23 percent of Republicans agree that "it would be a good thing if more women were elected to Congress."