I'm all for literary feuds. Any sort of excitement in the literary realm, anything that makes someone's blood quicken, I'll take. But leave it to Russia to really take it to the next level. This is no Theodore Dreiser hitting Sinclair Lewis in the face. This is no Norman Mailer and Gore Vidal insulting each other on the Dick Cavett Show. No, this is an unnamed 53-year-old Russian allegedly stabbing his "friend" to death because the friend believed "the only real literature is prose." The alleged assailant "favored poetry."

Is this story real? Is Russia real? I can't believe the Olympics are going to be in Russia, land of "it's illegal to think gay people are okay and yet par for the course to allegedly stab someone to death because of how much you love poetry." I say "par for the course" because:

This is not the first time high-brow disputes have led to bloodshed in Russia. In September, a man was shot in a line for beer in the southern city of Rostov-on-Don after enraging a fellow beer drinker with his views about the work of Enlightenment philosopher Immanuel Kant.

Russia, ladies and gentlemen.

But while we're at it: