Oh Noooooooo: A local teacher was arrested on suspicion of child rape and communicating with a minor for immoral purposes after the Tacoma Police Department received an anonymous tip.

Obama Nominates Openly Gay Federal Judge: If approved, Miami-Dade Circuit Court Judge Darrin Gayles will be the first openly gay black man to hold the post.

Leno Finally Quits the Tonight Show, Maybe Even For Good This Time: It sounds like the whole affair was an exercise in mediocrity, but he thanked his union employees so that was really nice.

The House of Representatives Gave Itself a Raise: Well, they increased their daily stipend by $30, but it still counts.

It's Been a Good Run, Top Of the Food Chain: An Oregon State University study finds that salmon use the earth's magnetic field as a built-in GPS system.

One Stolen Car Too Far: A 41-year old man being pursued by the police for driving a stolen car ups the ante by also stealing the police car. Go big or go home!

Calm The Fuck Down, Marketers: Someone thought it would be cool to hide zombies in a subway grate in New York City to promote the mid-season premiere of AMC's The Walking Dead on Sunday.

Puyallup Man Sentenced For Killing His Children: Michael League was sentenced to five years for each murder, and will serve the sentences concurrently.

To the Bat-Meme!: A former New Orleans mayor said his office had a "Batman-type phone," and the internet jumped to action. Good job, team!

Ladies and Gentlemen, We Are Floating In Space: The Curiosity rover took this picture of Earth from 100 million miles away to remind you that we're all just infinitesimal specks in the tapestry of life.