Hooray for Hollywood! The Oscars were last night, and people won stuff. Good for them.

Annexing the Sudetenland Crimea. In a speech at the United Nations, Russian foreign minister Sergey V. Lavrov said that Russia had to send troops into Ukraine’s Crimean peninsula in order to protect ethnic Russians. Sounds familiar. Maybe now we can give up on this stupid war on terror and get back to a good old fashioned Cold War?

Humans are awful. Eight knife wielding assailants reportedly killed 29 people and wounded 140 others at a Chinese train station. China is blaming Uighur terrorists.

He doesn't have a leg to stand on. I am totally uninterested in the murder trial of double-amputee Olympian Oscar Pistorius that started today, but I just wanted to type that pun.

Following Kshama's lead. President Barack Obama is heading out on the road to campaign for a higher minimum wage, in what is proving to be one of the Democrats' signature issues of the 2014 midterm elections.

Reset your clocks! Seattle City Light reports that a power outage struck about 7,000 Capitol Hill residents last night, due to mylar balloons getting tangled in power lines. I blame Dominic.

Of course they are. Despite banning the growing, manufacturing, and selling of marijuana within its borders, the Yakima City Council is still seeking a share of state pot revenues. "I'm prepared to defend cries of hypocrisy from now until whenever," said hypocritical council member Dave Ettl.

Dam crack. Officials have begun lowering water levels behind the Wanapum Dam on the Columbia River after discovering a 65-foot crack. The dam can generate more than 1,000 megawatts of hydro power.

There but for the grace of Allah go I. Two Egyptian policemen were sentenced to ten years in jail each for torturing and killing a blogger.

Zombie attack? A 78-year-old man kicked his way out of body bag at a Mississippi funeral home after the coroner had erroneously pronounced him dead. Oops.

If only that fetus had been armed. Two men have been arrested in Annapolis, Maryland for the alleged armed robbery of pregnant woman in labor.

Crocodiles can climb trees! A University of Tennessee researcher has concluded that crocodiles can climb trees!