Right Wing Watch scored a twofer in the persecuted Christian department today. First up, this douchebag says that because Christian bakers will be "forced" to bake wedding cakes for gay couples, pretty soon, "Christians are going to have to start wearing a yellow cross." He continues to hammer home his insensitive and historically idiotic argument by asking, "are we in 1939 Germany here?" (NOTE OF CLARIFICATION: No. We are not in 1939 Germany here. We are in 2014 America.)

And! Glenn Beck's favorite Christian historian, David Barton, says "there were more Christians martyred for Jesus Christ last year, than in the previous two thousand years combined. Just last year." (SECOND NOTE OF CLARIFICATION: This is not even close to true.)

These are crisis-level proportions, people! Christians just can't get a break in America, where they are a persecuted minority. The numbers don't lie! Polls indicate that anywhere from 77 to 83 percent of all Americans identify as Christians. Which means that, using Persecuted Christian Math™, American Christians are the Most Persecuted Minority Out of All the Minorities That Have Ever Been Persecuted.