The Republican Party is paying a lot of money to run these ads on cable TV:

Scott Greenberg is a millennial with hip glasses, a hip haircut, hip facial hair, a hip leather jacket, and a hip striped shirt. Did you realize? Scott is very hip. But did you also know that Scott is [RECORD SCRATCH] ...a Republican? (Here, have a napkin for that spit-take you just pulled. I think you might have just ruined your keyboard. Also, all your coworkers know there's whiskey in that coffee. You're not fooling anyone.) It's true! Young people can have self-centered, baseless opinions about political issues, too! Some young people worry about Pain at the Pump™! Some young people obsess over mysterious, vague regulations that hurt business! This is a thing that happens!

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But let's just pretend for a minute that Scott Greenberg does somehow manage to convince a millennial to check out this hip young Republican Party that all the kids (or one kid who's on TV, at least) are talking about. What would they find?

It's no surprise that Scott's opinions don't stray very far from the economy. Scott doesn't share his opinions about gay marriage. That's because Republicans know their social issues lose young people, who are overwhelmingly for gay marriage. Scott doesn't talk about abortion, or how much he hates the separation of church and state. He doesn't talk about how the youth are leading America into a pit of hellish amorality, and he definitely doesn't talk about how there should be laws to curb all that sex and drugs and internet sex-video-chatting all the kids are doing. But those are the things you'll find at pretty much any meeting of Republicans. (Trust me, I've been to quite a few.) And those are the things that scare young people away from the Republican Party. These ads might ignore those issues, but they aren't going to change the reality of the party.

Also, you'll also notice that Scott is a very white-looking man driving a ridiculously un-hip sedan. It's maybe too much to hope that the Republican Party could find a woman of color to star in this ad, but demographics are really the only thing these ads are honest about: This is a party for old white men and the young white men who agree with them. Pretty hip.