SL Letter of the Day: Resources and Support?


Maybe she was hoping for exactly the one resource you provided, Dan - some shopping help. :) I know finding shoes in men's sizes can also be hard. I've never had to buy lacy unmentionables for a fellow before. That site home page.. *fans self*

What a fun, friendly letter. She sounds like she can't wait to rip his stockings off.

And start a blog so the next person who searches that will get have a good resource to share.
I learned about "dancers' belts" at comic con last weekend -- they're worn to keep the male genitalia in place and reduce panty lines under tight fitting clothing. Lot of cosplay guys apparently wear them (who knew?). Sounds like a useful for cross dressing guys. Panty lines are a bitch.
agreed--shoes are the hardest part of it. plenty of large sized women's clothing around, cause...plenty of large ladies. but gaining weight doesn't make your feet much bigger--maybe 1 size, no more.
Good for her and score for this guy in finding a fun ggg girlfriend! Panties really highlight a hard-on, enjoy!
wxPDX @3, I've never cosplayed, so I'm not sure if "dancer's belt" is a unique garment or what... But I have taken ballet, and dance belts are worn by male dancers to keep their junk up front (and therefore out of the way for dancing). As a side effect, they make one's package present proudly.

So for crossdressing guys who are trying to minimize their package, it would have the opposite effect. Cosplayers wearing skintight outfits probably like them because it makes their junk look like Baryshnikov's.
Several years ago the BF and I did a stint of panties and heels play. The hottest part was the hard dick sticking out of a pair of very tiny and lacy panties. Ooof.
Hi Dan et al - I'm the OP and I didn't mean resources for HIM, I meant resources for ME. Ideas! Blogs! Good erotica! Sorry, I guess I should been more specific. :)
@8: As a guy who likes to wear girly clothes, what I can tell you is that a lot of crossdressers are turned on by gender play in general. Beyond just the clothing, a lot of us tend to find the mental image of ourselves as females very sexy. You'll want to talk to him about this, of course, but he'd probably be interested in things like pegging and other role-reversal type play.

You could also ask questions over at
(I actually posted a link to this page there, earlier.)

Good luck, you sound awesome, and he's very lucky to have you!
Along with what #9 says, also keep in mind that a lot of the sexual thrill of cross-dressing is in the process of dressing itself, not just what comes afterwards. Do it slowly.
@8 you sound like an awesome GF.
bookmarking that link for later reference. My relatively vanilla spouse would likely not indulge me, but I'm OK with fantasy!
Glad OP chimed in-- I was reading Dan's response going, "Umm... I think you misunderstood the question... and now you're being a little judgey... this is awkward"
I found the book The Lazy Crossdresser (if it's still in print/available) to have a lot of good general rules for femming up on the cheap.
I used to have a cross-dressing boyfriend. This guy was definitely not trying to pass for female, since he had a full, bushy beard and male pattern baldness (which I thought made it all the hotter when he wore women's clothes, since he was so clearly NOT a woman, which made it all the more transgressive.)

One day when it was his birthday, I'd put up balloons as part of his birthday celebration. As a joke, I blew up two and stuffed them down the front of his shirt. Well. He loved them. No, he LOVED them. He wore them for the rest of the day and seemed quite regretful when taking them off that night.

So a little gender play beyond just clothing might not be amiss. ;-)
@8,13 Yeah, I read it the way the letter-writer intended. It seemed very similar to the supportive partner who wrote in with a foot-fetishist partner asking for advice about how to incorporate that, simply because the LW hadn't done it before and wanted ideas and info. Tons of people read tips about sex, not because they think they need a support group, but just because it's good to learn what sorts of things people tend to like to have more ideas to try. I'm glad the LW clarified. You seem like a good partner, LW.
I have ordered from, the site used as the "resource." They make really cute stuff, and it fits very well, it allows room and fits men, while remaining very feminine. Their shipping and customer service is great too. I highly recommend ordering through them. They actually make items for men, instead of just selling women's items as a lot of places do.