Home Alone's former child star Macaulay Culkin and his Velvet Underground parody band, the Pizza Underground, were going to do an interview, but they saw the questions I prepared and "unfortunately" became "unavailable." So I took the same questions and gave them to Lou Reed instead. Lou is a warehouse officer and night stocker for the QFC in Lake City. He doesn't really know the other Lou Reed's music that well, and he was not aware that the 33-year-old Culkin had started a meta-novelty meme band singing versions of Velvet Undergound songs about pizza. I explained to him that the Pizza Underground hand out pizzas at shows, and the songs are stonerish sing-along medleys. Recently, they released an EP on Daytrotter. Culkin plays a kazoo, someone hits a pizza box for percussion, and there is guitar and glockenspiel. The Velvet Underground's "Beginning to See the Light" becomes "Beginning to Eat the Slice," and "These Days" becomes "Cheese Days." Some Pizza Underground shows feature dancing to Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start the Fire" with a backdrop of cat photos. Also, a guy has sung Nirvana songs in the past tense as "Kurt Cobained" where the lyrics to "Smells Like Teen Spirit" become "There we were then/Entertained us." With the Pizza Underground, Macaulay Culkin further sheds his haunting child- actor persona. It's his version of Miley Cyrus's tongue-out twerking rampage. Here's what Lou Reed had to say.

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