There are approximately one million jewelry stores here, and sea planes are like mosquitos. Voluminous cruise ships dock daily to hemorrhage gawking tourists into the streets. The lady at the Red Dog Saloon told me that if I buy a duck fart shot I will have good luck for a year. It was 11 am; I told her I'd think about it. Other than the Tram and fortuitous sorority shots, what the hell does one do in Juneau? This town's beauty is striking. Tomorrow I think we are going to the Mendenhall Glacier, which—according to the internet—has receded 1.75 miles since 1958. Good job, us!