Slog Sep 24, 2014 4:44 PM

Boring Report: Man with Little Blue Umbrella Is Killing It

by Christopher Frizzelle

Comments

1
Actually, they love it when you say "pouring", because it gives them a chance to correct you with the proper term. If you say "placing" they're like "oh, fuck it, he already knows, now I have nothing to live for" *.

* possibly not verbatim
Fnarf on September 24, 2014 at 4:50 PM · Report this
2
Is the boring report a commentary on unfettered density or just an exercise in mocking manual labor?

"I asked, and according to Sound Transit..." Jeez. Can you imagine the poor sound transit guy in charge of fielding those calls? "Hey Murray, it's the Stranger again. They want to talk to you about the guy with the blue umbrella."
derpyderpington on September 24, 2014 at 4:55 PM · Report this
3
@2, the folks at Sound Transit are pretty happy to talk to people about what they're doing, in fact. They're proud of it, and they should be. Describing skilled tradesmen at work (not "manual labor") is not mocking it.
Fnarf on September 24, 2014 at 4:58 PM · Report this
4
So they didn't say, "Water and welding wire do not mix . . . Einstein"? Maybe you should phrased it in the Seattle negative, "I don't that guy needs a blue umbrella????"
biffp on September 24, 2014 at 5:17 PM · Report this
5
Just don't call it "cement". They'll correct you on that even faster.
MarkH on September 24, 2014 at 5:23 PM · Report this
6

Train stop, wet day

Supreme Ruler Of The Universe on September 24, 2014 at 6:27 PM · Report this
7
@2 FWIW, the "boring" report is a play on words. They are working on a deep "bore" tunnel with a big "boring" machine named Bertha. Aside from the current lull, tunneling is generally quite time consuming and takes place underground so waiting for progress could bore the average watcher.

Reminds me of grade school when one of my favorite phrases was "damn dam" combining the profane and the faux profane with syncretic hilarity.
fletc3her on September 24, 2014 at 6:29 PM · Report this
8
I always thought they were "pumping" concrete. That's much more fun to say.
McBomber on September 24, 2014 at 7:59 PM · Report this
9
Pro-tip: Dbag project managers and architects say "place." Generally over the phone from an office in Issaquah or some other nightmare. Regular workers say "pour."
HeySparky on September 24, 2014 at 8:05 PM · Report this
10
@8- in the photo on this post they are indeed pumping concrete. The "hot glue gun" is a boom truck. It is a pump truck with giant articulated arm (boom) that allows controlled placement of concrete. They are pumping the liqiid concrete through a tube on the boom. Boom trucks are cool shit.
HeySparky on September 24, 2014 at 8:14 PM · Report this
11
Bartender, place me a beer if you please!
venomlash on September 24, 2014 at 8:27 PM · Report this
13
"So that's what they're up to this week—making sparks fly and playing with color-coordinated cherry pickers and umbrellas"

Fnarf, the mocking tone here is real. People working hard to make a thing are not "playing". The boring report is really just the jerk report. TL;DR - there are still jerks looking out the window at The Stranger.
derpyderpington on September 25, 2014 at 8:22 AM · Report this
14
Echo #9, construction workers in clean, shiny white hard hats say place concrete, the workers who actually build things say pour.
wl on September 25, 2014 at 8:56 AM · Report this
15
#14, one of the most important things to do when you get a new hard hat is scuff it up a little. Nobody wants to be the guy with a shiny new hard hat on site.

#10, the most awesome thing about concrete boom trucks is that the dominant brand for many years was Schwing. The Wayne's World jokes just write themselves.
on September 25, 2014 at 9:50 AM · Report this
16
Not making fun of anyone. I love watching these guys work.
Christopher Frizzelle on September 25, 2014 at 10:30 AM · Stranger Staff
17
I can't believe I just read all that
Glowjenni on October 8, 2014 at 3:22 PM · Report this