Police Reports Illustrated: Hot Juicer

Comments

1
Thank you! This is WAAAY better than the real morning news!!
2
Awesome
3
The police report really wrote "whilst"? C'mon.
4
The poor and/or mentally unstable are always good for a laugh.
5
That slice in the air in the first panel, is that half of the stupid Möbius strip description that Dave Segal wrote on slog a few days ago?
6
I fucking love police reports illustrated.
7
The real theft is the $200 juicer that can be procured for $140 or less.
http://www.amazon.com/s?ie=UTF8&field-ke… lalanne juicer
8
this is a million times better than anything charles would have submitted at this hour. in fact, this is better than 90% of the "police beat" columns.

more of this, less of that, please.
9
@6 I agree. I barely poke around this place any more, this is one of the few things that keeps me coming back.



@4 Way to be that fucking guy.



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C6cxNR9M…
11
Excellent. Beautifully drawn, and as always, evocative.
12
@10, obviously, he was a hat-wearing, caucasian revcom protester incited by Ferguson and QFC's involvement in institutional racism.
13
Thank you, this one made me laugh. Classic "They're not the victims...I am!".
14
I gave my girlfriend the ol' Hot Juicer last night.
15
This suspect is lucky he is not dead. He gave everyone around him legal justification to kill him, on the spot:

RCW 9A.16.050, "Homicide is also justifiable when committed either:

(1) In the lawful defense of the slayer, .... when there is reasonable ground to apprehend a design on the part of the person slain to commit a felony or to do some great personal injury to the slayer or to any such person, and there is imminent danger of such design being accomplished; or

(2) In the actual resistance of an attempt to commit a felony upon the slayer, in his or her presence, or upon or in a dwelling, or other place of abode, in which he or she is."

You had a threat to kill or do great personal injury, "I am going to fucking cut you." You have the means to carry it out: the knife. So the elements of law for anyone around this guy, cop or not, to attempt to take him out, or take him out, before he took them out, where present.

The suspect reported he was high and had not slept for 7 days. He was not rational and everyone is lucky he chose walking off. As it is he is probably facing Assault 2.

He could have charged 21 feet and plunged those scissors into an employee or customer in less time than it takes an experienced shooter to draw and place one aimed shot. Handgun bullets don't kill 75% of the time and the goal would not have been to kill. It would have been to disable the attacker to the point that the attack would stop before he could kill someone.

The victims were not injured and the suspect was not injured. It will be resolved in a court, not at the scene of the crime. That is a great outcome! (no sarcasm, serious)

That said, I think to make light of it is in poor taste. It is only comic because nobody died. We are lucky that neither the store employees, customers, bus riders, cops, or the suspect is seriously injured or dead.
16
@4, free will does not exist. Correct. Choices are a fallacy.
17
@3- It says "based on a real police report" not "the exact text of a police report."

Never take anything "based on a true story" as genuine history.
18
More of this please - one of the better features of The Stranger, for sure.