Another GOP Pol Makes the Mistake of Picking a Fight With Jimmy Kimmel

This time it's Roy Moore. (The first late-night comedian we elected to national office may not be everything we hoped... but I'd donate to and vote for Kimmel if he decided to run for office.)

UPDATE: "Whatever will Moore do without the support of legendary kingmaker Jimmy Kimmel? I mean, if there is one thing that is sacred to southern conservatives, it is the wisdom of liberal late show hosts, and their sick burns," says Theodore.

Moore is going to win regardless. Kimmel is just making sure Moore's a national laughingstock and a national liability for the GOP.

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Reader Advice Round-up


Recent Savage Love Letters of the Day: We revisited the manly-man pro snowboarder who needed a womanly finger in his manly-man butt. Also, what's the deal with the boyfriend's dirty diapers? Is anal ever accidental? Does she need to tell mum that dad likes dick? Also, last week's column and Savage Lovecast.

First, a follow-up from PANIC:

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Trump's World AIDS Day Proclamation Leaves Someone Out

Remember how Trump's first Holocaust Remembrance Day proclamation made no mention of the Jews? Well, Trump's first World AIDS Day proclamation is out and you'll never guess who he left out this time: gay men, people of color, and trans men and women—the communities most at risk, the communities that suffered the most during the plague years. It's like they get up every day determined to prove to the world that they are the assholes we already damn well know them to be.

Seattle, Meet Michigan's Matriarchy

Yesterday Eli asked us all to marvel at Seattle's matriarchy. Well, Seattle, Michigan may get its own matriarchy this November, with an all-woman/all-Dem slate for statewide office, and Michigan's matriarchs aren't playing. Meet Dana Nessel, one of the Dem women running there this fall. Nessel wants to be Michigan's next attorney general and her latest campaign ad is... well, just watch:

You can't argue with her logic—elected officials can't pull out dicks they don't have. I'm putting a Nessel yard sign in front of my house just in case someone visiting from Michigan walks by. Nessel for MI AG!

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Her Dad Likes Dick, But Does She Tell Mom?


Before I get started, I should tell you I do not live with my parents and haven't for a long time. My parents no longer live together as my mum moved away a couple of years ago to care for her elderly parent. My parents see each other several times a year, mainly at holidays. They don't hold hands, they don't kiss, they hardly interact, they don't even act like friends, more like strangers. I have suggested they have couples therapy or separate, they weren't interested in either. Anyway, earlier this year my mum found some condoms in my dad’s belongings. As they don't have sex anymore, she asked him why he had them. He told her he had found the condoms in the street and hadn't got round to throwing them away yet. Dad is unaware she has told me about this but safe to say, neither of us believes him.

I have always suspected my dad of cheating. As a teenager, I caught him masturbating in front of women through live webcams, found gay porn in his office but never brought it up as I was too embarrassed. I forgot about this until recently, when I saw gay hook-up sites on his tablet and sexual messages from men on his phone. He probably knows I saw them, but neither of us said anything. I have never told my mum about this.

My parents are both in their 60s and I think they would be happier apart to explore and lead new lives. Should I tell mum what I’ve seen? Should I talk to dad about his sexuality? If he's gay, bisexual, queer or curious, he has a right to be whatever he wants to be. However, he doesn't have a right to cheat. What should I do? I want to do what's right for both of them.

Don't Announce Dad's Discrete Yearnings

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South African Judge Refuses to Allow a Gay Couple to Adopt

The judge is a liberal and was a gay rights champion before taking a seat on the bench. The reason the judge refuse to approve the adoption? The couple is closeted:

While they have been partners for a decade, one of the prospective fathers is not out of the closet. The two men, who live separately to hide their relationship, were only identified in court as CJD and HN. Judge Ronel Tolmay declined the agreement saying the closeted relationship could harm the child’s psychological well being. “I can see a little toddler excitedly running towards his father in public, shouting out: ‘daddy’. Would the father pretend not to be the parent? How will this impact on the child?” she said in the decision. “No one can judge a gay person who, because of persisting public prejudice, is reluctant to reveal his sexual orientation. However, the court must always place the rights of the child first. “If HN in future finds it less daunting to be open about his sexual orientation, he can still approach the court and may obtain parental rights.”

Gotta side with the judge here—dating a closet case is hard, parenting with one would be impossible*. And it wouldn't be fair to ask a kid to join you in the closet. (*Parenting with a closeted partner as a same-sex couple, I mean. Lots of people were successfully parented by sad closet cases married to sadly duped opposite-sex partners.)

Mayor of San Juan, Puerto Rico: We Will Make Sure Puerto Ricans Who Have Fled to Florida Vote Democratic In 2018


Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz said this on The Rachel Maddow Show last night: "I don't think President Trump realizes it. Many of the Puerto Ricans that are moving to the states, about a hundred thousand in the past few weeks, are going to Florida. So they're going to change the landscape of the election for 2018. And we're going to make sure that they vote. And we're going to make sure they remember who didn't help when the time came."

I got a lot of grief on Twitter—not complaining, that's what Twitter is for—when I tweeted this...

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Where In the World Is Matt Lauer?

Not at NBC, not anymore. The New York Times reports...

NBC has fired its leading morning news anchor Matt Lauer over sexual harassment allegations, the network’s president for news said in a memo to staff on Wednesday. “On Monday night, we received a detailed complaint from a colleague about inappropriate sexual behavior in the workplace by Matt Lauer,” Andrew Lack, the NBC News president, said in the memo. He said the allegation against Mr. Lauer “represented, after serious review, a clear violation of our company’s standards. As a result, we’ve decided to terminate his employment.”

The statement goes on to note that while this is the first complaint against Lauer in his twenty years with NBC, the network has "reason to believe it may not be an isolated incident."

“How do you reconcile your love for someone with the revelation that they have behaved badly?” Savannah Guthrie, Lauer's cohost, asked on the Today Show this morning. Sarah Silverman did a good job of wrestling with—if not reconciling—her love for Louis C.K. with what she knows now, with what we all know now, about his behavior toward/sexual harassment of numerous women:

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Boyfriend Denies Diaper Fetish Despite Hoarding Dirty Diapers


I've been with my boyfriend for twelve months. I've always known he was kinda kinky which is great because I'm pretty vanilla but love giving new stuff a chance. (He got me into spanking.) Then a few months ago he was reading an email he got from his ex-boyfriend out loud to me and the ex mentioned something about my boyfriend "making him dress up in diapers." My boyfriend denied that claim, saying something along the lines of "that's not true." We've never done anything with diapers and he's never expressed that desire to me. Today, I was making an outline at home for my upcoming chem exam and my pen ran out of ink. I searched the apartment for a pen but I was unable to find one. The last place I checked was my boyfriend's backpack which he uses for travel. Inside his backpack was a pair of browned diapers and a small bottle of lotion (the same brand we use as lube). Also: he has been making a lot of trips into a major city that we live near by on the weekends, sometimes overnight for work. So it seems like he is definitely cheating on me, right?

Diapers Indicate Relationship Turmoil, Yeah?

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The Morning News: Tax Bill Actually Gets Worse, Franken Apology Tour Gets Going, Seattle Gets a New Mayor

Sen. Al Franken speaking to the media after returning back to work yesterday.
Sen. Al Franken speaking to the media after returning back to work yesterday. MARK WILSON / GETTY

THE RICH GET RICHER: "The Republican tax bill hurtling through Congress is increasingly tilting the United States tax code to benefit wealthy Americans, as party leaders race to shore up wavering lawmakers who are requesting more help for high-earning business owners," the New York Times reports. The bill is "a giant scam," says Paul Krugman, "[and] ordinary American families would end up being the victims." But while you and me and Paul Krugman might think this tax bill was already skewed toward the rich—the tax bill and everything else—Business Insider recently reported that "wealthy couples in NYC need $190 million to keep their heads above water." Won't anyone think of the obscenely wealthy? (On a personal note: I'm putting all my money in guillotine futures.)

FRANKEN APOLOGIZES, RUBIO HYPOCRISIZES: "Senator Al Franken, back at the Capitol for the first time since groping accusations emerged nearly two weeks ago, gave no indication on Monday that his political career was in peril, telling reporters that he would work to try to regain the trust of women, voters and his colleagues," reports the New York Times. "His fellow senators have largely been unwilling to extend Mr. Franken lines of support, and on Sunday, one of them, Marco Rubio, Republican of Florida, said Mr. Franken ought to consider resigning." Rubio, so far as I know, hasn't called on Donald Trump to resign. At least 16 women have accused Trump of sexually assaulting them—his first wife accused him of raping her in an affidavit—and the Trump White House says they're all liars. That's what Roy Moore says about his accusers and Moore may wind up sitting in the same Senate chamber that his fellow Republican Marco Rubio believes Franken should have to leave. As feminist critic Kate Harding wrote in the Washington Post...

[If Franken is forced to resign] in the interest of demonstrating our party’s solidarity with harassed and abused women, we’re only going to drain the swamp of people who, however flawed, still regularly vote to protect women’s rights and freedoms. The legislative branch will remain chockablock with old, white Republican men who regard women chiefly as sex objects and unpaid housekeepers, and we’ll show them how staunchly Democrats oppose their misogynistic attitudes by handing them more power. Isn’t that hypocritical? I hear you asking, Because Republicans won’t do the right thing, we shouldn’t, either? But if the short-term “right thing” leads to long-term political catastrophe for American women, I think we need to reconsider our definition of the right thing.

Basically, we're heading toward a system where Democrats believe women—as they should—and Democratic malefactors do the right thing and resign while Republicans call women liars, threaten to sue women who accuse them of assault, and rely on "values voters" to return them to office, where they'll vote to deny women access to birth control, ban abortion, and roll back workplace protections for women.

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Savage Love Letter of the Day: Accidental Anal Rides Again


My sister recently described a scenario to a friend and I that I would deem rape happening between her and her long-term fiancé. My sister, a vibrant and beautiful 29-year-old is in bed with her fiancé (let's call him D) with her back to him, expecting some gentle laying down doggy-style. Instead, she receives D's entire penis firmly up her ass. She screams, cries, and he pulls out citing that it was an accident. Later, she approaches him in hopes that their amorous endeavors will continue but he then refuses to touch her because he is "afraid that something bad will happen." (As if it was her fault!) She was in pain for days after this lubeless and surprising anal encounter. She told us this was not the first time such sexual disaster struck—D is always "sorry" and acts as if she is the one that surprised him with not owning two vaginas. May I include that this man in twelve years her senior, had a ten-year marriage, and has two kids. He knows the difference between a vagina and an asshole by now, surely?

During previous discussions about sex, I understood that my sister enjoyed anal play with D. Is he using this surprise as a control tactic? I have not talked with my sister about this again because I am sure it will be an emotional conversation. How can I help her see that I only want her to be safe and secure with a sexual partner, while confronting this issue head on? Their relationship has ended multiple times, but she never ends up leaving him. I cannot expect support from immediate family as D is charming, extremely manipulative, and can turn any situation around to his benefit. I have done research of my own on rape in relationships, but don't know how to deliver that information to my sister gently and effectively. How would you recommend I breach this very sensitive subject?

Thank you for being the one person I wanted to tell and ask advice from when I heard this. Let me know if I'm being a nosy sister or need to kick this guy's ass. I'm leaning towards the latter.

Against Niceties After Lovely Sibling's Latest Intercourse Problem

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Kid Shoots and Kills Dad

Guns are great way for fathers and sons to bond, says the NRA. But having a gun in the home increases your risk of death...

Guns can kill you in three ways: homicide, suicide, and by accident. Owning a gun or having one readily accessible makes all three more likely. One meta-analysis "found strong evidence for increased odds of suicide among persons with access to firearms compared with those without access and moderate evidence for an attenuated increased odds of homicide victimization when persons with and without access to firearms were compared." The latter finding is stronger for women, a reminder that guns are also a risk factor for domestic violence. The same thing is true for accidents. States with more guns see more accidental deaths from firearms, and children ages 5 to 14 are 11 times more likely to be killed with a gun in the US compared to other developed countries, where gun ownership is much less common.

Meanwhile in Texas...

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This Woman For Senate

Don't care what state she lives in. Don't care who the incumbents there are. EMILY's List needs to track her down and talk her into running.

Susan Sarandon Is Still Out There Sarandoning

Susan Sarandon, Blinders Still On
Susan Sarandon, Blinders Still On

While everyone is piling on the New York Times—and rightly so—for normalizing Nazis over the weekend, The Guardian dedicated a pile of pixels to normalizing unaccountable privilege:

Liberals in the US, it seems, can summon more hatred for Sarandon right now than they can for Paul Ryan. Most infuriating of all, to her critics, is that she won’t admit her error. Sarandon’s very physiognomy suggests defiance; she looks indignant even at rest... Still, I think while there was vast political error on both sides, the inability of Sarandon and her ilk to embrace the lesser of two evils permitted the greater of the two evils to rise. And yet I like Sarandon. It takes real courage to go against the mob. Her inconsistencies are a little wild, but in the age of social-media enforced conformity, I have never met anyone so uninterested in toeing the line. Did she really say that Hillary was more dangerous than Trump? “Not exactly, but I don’t mind that quote,” she says. “I did think she was very, very dangerous. We would still be fracking, we would be at war [if she was president]. It wouldn’t be much smoother."

So she doesn't exactly think Hillary is more dangerous than Trump—which she famously said before the election—but she doesn't "mind the quote" (your quote, Susan, you said it) but, hey, come to think of it, Hillary was more dangerous than Trump because we'd definitely be at war right now if Hillary had won the election.

We are at war now right now. In Iraq, Afghanistan, and, it seems, Niger. And thanks in part to Sarandon and other Jill Stein voters dupes, the Trump administration is waging war on the environment, on black Americans, on women, on DREAMers, on immigrants, on the same-sex couples, on trans rights, on the middle class (last time I'll be linking to a story in TIME), on a free press and the 1st Amendment, on our courts, on the State Department, on decency, on civility, and on and on and on.

But for the record: I hate Paul Ryan way more than Susan Sarandon. But Ryan wouldn't be in a position to raise taxes on the poor and middle class and give obscene tax breaks to the wealthy and destroy Obamacare if Hillary Clinton was in the White House. Which she isn't. Thanks in part Susan Sarandon. Whom I also hate.

Savage Love Letter of the Day: Manly Snowboard Man Requires Finger


Originally posted August 15, 2012.

I'm a twentysomething professional snowboarder. I have a problem that I don't really have anybody to talk to about. When I jerk it, I have to put a finger in my asshole to finish. Plain and simple, that's the only way I can come. I've tried to learn to come without the finger, but I can never reach climax. I can't even come in a girl's pussy without sneaking a finger in my back door. I go to great lengths to hide it—push her head in a pillow, etc.—because I don't want them to think I'm gay. (I have no problem with other people being gay, just FYI. It's just that you do not want snowboard groupies thinking you're gay. Girls talk, and then you never get laid again and all of your bros find out you're sticking things up your butt.) This letter is actually time sensitive. I'm pretty distraught that last night one of my regular chicks saw me do it. Today she won't return my texts. I want to convince her I was scratching an itch or something. I'm worried it might already be out there that I'm "gay." How do I learn to come without prostate stimulation?

Butt-Using Manly Man Entirely Distressed

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