The first thing I always notice in the royal presence of Queen Shmooquan is her costuming. Whether she’s sporting a bloody nose, a neck brace, two rubber chickens for a bra, or even a bushy wig of pubic hair jutting out from her shiny leotard or jockstrap, SHE ALWAYS LOOKS GOOD. Actually, her looks make people beautifully uncomfortable, not unlike the camel toe of Dina Martina sometimes does. This new solo show, filled with singing, dancing, and food eating, will examine Shmoo’s “female self-reinvention” in our “material world controlled by the Weiner-ball Priesthood.” You’ve never seen anything quite like it. (Velocity Dance Center, 1621 12th Ave,, 8 and 10 pm, $20 adv/$22 DOS, March 14–15)

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