Annoying people on social networking and online dating sites always list Secretary among their favorite movies because they want everyone to know that even though they're way intellectual, they still have a naughty side. Barf, right? Stay away from those people. But don't stay away from Secretary, which manages the impossible trifecta of being simultaneously funny, sympathetic, and really, really fucking hot. What is it about James Spader? It's like he fell from space from a planet where they use vaguely menacing ginger sexuality as currency. Planet Mansnake. Whatever. Watch Secretary. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, 686-6684, 9:30 pm, $6, 21+)

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