Fact: Die Hard is the best action movie ever made. It is better than Star Wars, it's better than Raiders of the Lost Ark, and it's playing this week at Central Cinema as part of their Christmas Classics! series (which will include Gremlins later this month, bless their hearts). Luke Skywalker is a whiny brat who's in love with his sister. Indiana Jones is rad until you wave a snake in front of him. John McClane is 100 percent badass—he'll take on 12 evil terrorists, walk on broken glass with bare feet, and still be up for a make-out session with his wife. Yippee kay yay, motherfucker. (Central Cinema, 1411 21st Ave, 686-6684, 9:30 pm, $5 adv/$7 DOS, 21+)

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