First, a tremor causes the bottom of the ocean to break open. Then a swarm of prehistoric man-eating piranhas escapes. And what else? IT HAPPENS DURING SPRING BREAK. Five bajillion gallons of fake blood burst out of peoples' (sometimes naked!) bodies while hundreds of little swimming monsters with red glowing eyes feast on their flesh. Elisabeth Shue runs around with perfect and bouncy hair. And it all happens in 3-D! Stranger film critic Andrew Wright declares it the "blissfully empty-headed savior of the summer." So the question is not why should you go see Piranha 3D, the question is why the fuck wouldn't you? (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film)