Okay, so I have not seen this movie with my own eyes, but need I have touched the sun with my bare hands to recommend its warmth? Need I swim with the playful manatee to defend its preservation? Some things are just obvious. One of those things: If your local art-house cinema screens a movie about "a fellatio-mad mermaid" terrorizing a small seaside town, YOU FUCKING GO AND SEE IT. Need I lick Tom Selleck's mustache to know it tastes of Cheetos? No, I need not. I just know. (Grand Illusion, 1403 NE 50th St, 523-3935. 11 pm, $8.)

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