For 12 effing years, The Stranger's annual Valentine's Bash has provided Seattleites with a one-of-a-kind bullshit-holiday catharsis, as audience members present host Dan Savage with tokens of failed relationships along with the stories behind them—after which the tokens are destroyed onstage before your very eyes. Previous years have seen sledgehammered mix tapes, blowtorched engagement rings, massa-cred jade plants, and imaginatively befouled love letters. You'll scream, cry, drink, and laugh your ass off. (Neumos, 925 E Pike St, 8 pm, $6 adv/$8 DOS, 21+.)