I know. I am aware. Worst title ever. Are you a movie about a circus? Or are you a vampire movie? Or are you a movie about a vampire who was too busy daubing shoe polish onto his widow's peak to goddamn show up, so he sent his assistant? Du freak? But whatever. Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant is medium awesome, if you like ridiculous magical shit for teens (WHICH I DO). Two dudes stumble upon an underworld of weird sideshow creatures and warring vampire clans. "Can I turn into a bat now?" "No. That's bullshit." (See Movie Times: thestranger.com/film.)

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