The annual evening-length tornado of talent—and drinking and, uh, other stuff—is back. Judging the third Stranger Gong Show is a quartet of local smart alecks: Jennifer Zeyl, Lindy West, Jen Graves, and Sarah Rudinoff. And the freaks performing this year? One can only guess. Previous years have seen a cokehead Mary Poppins, a man stuff 14 quarters up his nose, lewd standup from the Easter Bunny, mooning, intergalactic spirit possession, and audiences that get drunker and noisier by the minute. There will be cash ($300!). There will be prizes. There will be blood. (Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St, thestranger.com/gongshow. Sign-up at 7 pm/show at 9 pm, $5, 21+.)

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