(ROMANTIC MAYHEM) The feel-good smash of the season returns. Bring mementos of love gone wrong, and The Stranger's love and vengeance expert Dan Savage will flamboyantly destroy them for you before a drunk and howling crowd. Past years have seen blenders, blowtorches, and sledgehammers; this year adds the soulful spinning of DJ Colby B. Prepare yourself for an extravaganza of purging hilarity. (Chop Suey, 1325 E Madison St, 324-8000. 8 pm, $5, 21+.) DAVID SCHMADER