(STAGED READING) Ian Bell's perennially popular Brown Derby Series takes on "a screenplay that will drive you Swayze!" If jokes like that make you want to die, stay far away from Re-bar's three-night run of Dirty Dancing, the surreally stupid '80s-meets-the-'50s dance flick reborn here as a trampoline for Bell and company's aggressive camp. Star Andrew Tasakos will undoubtedly illuminate shades of Baby that Jennifer Grey never dreamed of. (Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 233-9873. 8 pm, $10 at the door, 21+. Through Wed Jan 18.) DAVID SCHMADER