THEATER


OPENING THIS WEEK

A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES 路 Seattle Public Theater

ANNIE 路 Paramount Theatre

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY 路 Live Girls!

HOKUM HOLIDAYS 路 Hokum Hall

VICES OF CHRISTMAS III 路 A Theater Near You


ONE WEEK ONLY

BEYOND BELIEF 路 Little Theatre

THE LITTLE PRINCE 路 Village Theatre

PIECE OF MEAT THEATRE 路 Sit & Spin

TEMPLE 路 Seattle Repertory Theatre


CLOSING THIS WEEK

A VERY SPECIAL MONEY & RUN WINTER SEASON HOLIDAY SPECIAL 路 Theater Schmeater

ANYTHING GOES 路 5th Avenue Theatre

BEAUTY & THE BEAST 路 Youth Theatre Northwest

BEYOND KINDNESS 路 On the Boards

THE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW 路 On the Boards

THE EBENEZER CYCLE 路 Annex Theatre

EXPRESSIONS OF THE SPIRIT 路 ArtsWest

GULLIVER'S TRAVELS 路 Consolidated Works

IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE 路 Everett Theatre

LINGER 路 Annex Theatre

MOSCOW NIGHTS 路 A Contemporary Theatre

MOTHER JONES WILL SPEAK! 路 Seattle Theatre Project

NUNSENSE 路 Kismet Productions

THE NUTCRACKER PUPPET BALLET 路 Northwest Puppet Center

PENN & TELLER 路 Moore Theatre

REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY 路 Empty Space

SCROOGE! 路 ArtsWest

X-MAS AT THE JOHNSONS 路 A Theater Under the Influence


OPENING AND CURRENT RUNS


A CHILD'S CHRISTMAS IN WALES

Solo performance of the Dylan Thomas poem by Kevin Purcell, abetted by music from David Mahler and Emily Greenleaf. Seattle Public Theater at the Greenlake Bathhouse, 7312 W Greenlake Dr N, 524-1300. $12 general, $8 anyone under 18. Fri-Sat at 7, Sun at 2. Through Dec 24.


A CHRISTMAS CAROL

David Pichette and John Procaccino alternate playing Scrooge in the Dickens classic, done for the 25th time. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $20-$35. Generally runs Tues-Sun, but times and days change over the course of the run so give 'em a call first. Through Dec 24.


*A VERY SPECIAL MONEY & RUN WINTER SEASON HOLIDAY SPECIAL

The latest episode of this transcendent camp trifle. Theater Schmeater, 1500 Summit Ave, 324-5801. $8 (anyone under 18 free). Thurs-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 11. Through Dec 16.


ANNIE

Fun lovin' singin' and dancin' orphan cutesiness until you puke. Opens Tues Dec 19. Paramount Theatre, Ninth & Pine, 292-ARTS. $16-$50. Tues-Sat at 7, Wed & Sat-Sun at 2. Through Dec 24.


ANYTHING GOES

Silliness on board an ocean liner, set to exquisite Cole Porter tunes. Reviewed this issue. 5th Avenue Theatre, 1308 Fifth Ave, 292-ARTS. $17-$59. Tues-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun at 2, Sun at 7:30. Through Dec 17.


BEYOND BELIEF

John Kaufmann (linger) addresses a panel of skeptical children and a questionable Santa (played by Charles Mudede) in this inquiry into the existence of the fabled old elf. See Stranger Suggests. Little Theatre, 608 19th Ave E, 329-2629. $12 general, $9 Northwest Film Forum members. Sat-Sun Dec 16-17, 8 pm.


*BEYOND KINDNESS

Solo performer Matt Smith (My Last Year with the Nuns, Helium) returns. "Thinking audiences will savor Beyond Kindness." (Stacey Levine) On the Boards, 100 W Roy, 217-9888. $12 Thurs/Sun, $14 Fri-Sat. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Dec 17.


BLACK NATIVITY

Intiman trots out its holiday show (a gospel "song play" by Langston Hughes) for the third time, featuring the Total Experience Gospel Choir. Reviewed this issue. Intiman Theatre, Seattle Center, 269-1900. $38 general, $28 students/seniors, $20 for youth 16 and under. Tues-Wed at 7, Thurs-Sat at 8, Sat-Sun matinees at 2. Additional show Sun Dec 17, 7 pm. Through Dec 24.


CITIZEN SCROOGE

A mutant fusion of Charles Dickens and Orson Welles. Reviewed this issue. Market Theatre, 1428 Post Alley (between Pike & Union), 781-9273. $10. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 7. Through Dec 23.


*THE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS SHOW

Quite possibly the most disturbing performance you'll ever see. For some, it's also extremely funny. "The strongest criticism I can offer is that I wanted the show to be longer." (Adrian Ryan) On the Boards, 100 W Roy, 217-9888. $12 Thurs/Sun, $14 Fri-Sat. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Dec 17.


*THE EBENEZER CYCLE (GOD HELP US, EVERY ONE!)

A Christmas Carol divided into five parts, each part given to a different director, but with the same cast running throughout. "When you expect a sweater and you get a race car, just try to wipe the smile off your face." (Tom Spurgeon) Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. $12. Wed-Sat at 8. Through Dec 16.


EXPRESSIONS OF THE SPIRIT

The 眉ber-bendy UMO troupe tackles the fairy tales of the Brothers Grimm. "Clever, metaphoric costumes and simple-yet-swell stage visuals.... All that said, I still fail to enjoy the larger UMO aesthetic." (Stacey Levine) ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $12-$22. Thurs-Sun at 8, call about weekend matinees. Through Dec 16.


GULLIVER'S TRAVELS

"Terrible comic pacing and uneven writing.... [Scot Augustson's section's] charm and humor easily distinguish it as the belle of the ball." (Tom Spurgeon) Consolidated Works, 410 Terry Ave N, 860-5245. $14 general, $12 members. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Dec 15.


*HAM FOR THE HOLIDAYS IV: GLAZING SADDLES

Lisa Koch and Peggy Platt present their fourth holiday comedy offering. Not the most cutting-edge stuff, but still pretty damn funny. Reviewed this issue. Theatre Off Jackson, 409 Seventh Ave S, 325-6500. $15 Wed-Thurs & Sun, $17 Fri-Sat. Wed-Sat at 8, Sun at 4. Sat matinees on Dec 16 & 23 at 4. Through Dec 24.


HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

"A christmas play with guns and fire," the press release proclaims. Also featuring gratuitous beefcake and an exploding ex-husband. See Bio Box. Live Girls! at the Speakeasy Backroom, 2304 Second Ave, 568-1985. $10 suggested donation. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Dec 30.


*HEDWIG AND THE ANGRY INCH

The world's greatest botched-sex-change rock musical. "I seriously question the intelligence of anyone who doesn't see this show. Twice." (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell (at Boren), 323-0388 or 325-6500. $16. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Feb 11.


THE HOBO'S CHRISTMAS

Sketch comedy, presumably built around a smelly, drunken homeless person. Disgruntled Bit Players at the Odd Duck Studio, 1214 10th Ave, 729-4839. $11 ($10 with canned food donation). Fri-Sat at 8. Through Dec 23.


IN REAL LIFE

Charlayne Woodard returns with the latest episode of her life, about her early years in New York. Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15-$42, $10 for anyone under age 25. Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun matinees at 2. Through Jan 7.


MOSCOW NIGHTS

A new play about an expatriate Russian family gathering to celebrate the matriarch's 75th birthday. A Contemporary Theatre, 700 Union St, 292-7676. All shows $10. Thurs/Sun at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8. Through Dec 17.


MOTHER JONES WILL SPEAK!

A one-woman show about the political firebrand. "The text of the final speech is thrilling and makes one ache for a show where Jones doesn't have to share stage time with witnesses, supporters, and critics." (Tom Spurgeon) Seattle Theatre Project at Open Circle Theatre, 429 Boren Ave N, 382-4250. $10. Thurs-Sun at 8. Through Dec 16.


NEW PATAGONIA

A Ken Kesey-esque literary lion decides he's going to have the most spectacular death of his generation. "A waste of a playwright capable of inventive work and some otherwise powerful actors." (Rebecca Brown) Seattle Repertory Theatre, Seattle Center at Second and Mercer, 443-2222. $29-$42 ($10 for anyone 25 or under). Tues-Sun at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2. Through Dec 23.


NUNSENSE

Singing, wiseacre nuns. Kismet Productions at the Performance Studio in the Seattle Center House, 325-6500. $12. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Through Dec 17.


THE NUTCRACKER PUPPET BALLET

And here's a holiday tradition in the making, a puppet version of The Nutcracker from the Carter Family Marionettes. Northwest Puppet Center, 9123 15th Ave NE, 523-2579. $6.50 children, $7 seniors, $8.50 adults. Fri at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 1 and 3. Through Dec 17.


OWEN MEANY'S CHRISTMAS PAGEANT

Ornery runt screams and snarls his way through a sacred celebration of our lord, Jesus Christ. Book-It at North Seattle Community College's Stage One Theater, 9600 College Way N, 325-6500. $18 general, $14 students/seniors. Wed-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. (Additional matinees Fri-Sat Dec 22-23, 2 pm). Through Dec 23.


PENN & TELLER

The smartass magical duo say they are bored with magic and so will be performing genuine miracles. Moore Theatre, Second and Virginia, 292-ARTS. $25-$40. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri at 8, Sat at 5 & 9, Sun 2 & 7. Through Dec 17.


PLAZA SUITE

If you're going to do dinner theater, I guess you just have to do Neil Simon. RipTide Deli Theatre at the Liberty Deli, 2722 Alki Ave SW, 405-TIDE. $22 in advance, $25 at the door (includes dinner). Dinner starts at 6:30, show starts at 7:30. Through Dec 23.


PRINCE BRAT AND THE WHIPPING BOY

It's not what you think, it's for kids. You should be ashamed of yourself. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22. Fri-Sat at 7, Sun at 2 & 5:30. Through Jan 13.


THE RED BALLOON

Boy meets balloon, falls in love, must protect balloon from pin-wielding bullies. A collaboration with Scottish theater troupe Visible Fictions. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $14.50-$22. Fri at 7, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30. (No performance Sun Dec 24.) Through Dec 30.


REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY

"The script came off like an extended Benny Hill sketch... with the exception of the saintly Shelley Reynolds, the normally talented cast marched lead-footed through the humor." (Traci Vogel) Empty Space, 3509 Fremont N, 547-7500. $20-$28. Tues-Thurs at 7:30, Fri at 8, Sat at 2 & 8, Sun at 2 & 7. Through Dec 16.


SANDERS FAMILY CHRISTMAS

A bluegrass gospel musical, set on the brink of the U.S. involvement in WWII. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $17-$25. Wed-Thurs at 7:30, Fri-Sat at 8, Sat at 2. Through Dec 30.


SCROOGE!

Seattle's most cantankerous actor (and one of its best) John Gilbert does a one-man-show reading of Dickens, supported by Michael Harris leading a pre-show sing-along. Reviewed this issue. ArtsWest Theatre, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $15 general, $10 students. Sun Dec 17, 3 and 7:30 pm.


TEMPLE

Workshop production of a new musical about the life of the autistic woman whose affliction led her to design more humane slaughterhouses. See Stranger Suggests. Seattle Repertory Theatre, 155 Mercer St, 443-2222. $15. Fri-Sat at 7:30, Sun at 2. One weekend only.


*X-MAS AT THE JOHNSON'S

A tale of absurd family madness, transplanted from Stalinist Russia to Eisenhower's America. "Adapters Craig Bradshaw and Christopher Persons have done theater history a great service by mounting this production." (Rebecca Brown) A Theater Under the Influence at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 720-1942. Pay-what-you-will Thurs, $12 Fri-Sat, $10 Sun. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Through Dec 17.


DANCE


NUTCRACKER

PNB's holiday cash cow. Pacific Northwest Ballet at Seattle Center Opera House, 301 Mercer St, 292-ARTS. $15-$80. Tues-Fri at 7:30, Sat at 2 & 7:30, Sun at 1 & 5:30. (Additional matinee Sun Dec 24 at noon.) Through Dec 27.


FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY


A TRANSCENDENTAL CHRISTMAS

Nothing says Christmas like the Might Wurlitzer organ, proclaims Hokum W. Jeebs, and who are we to argue? Holiday flavor from Seattle's finest presenter of vaudeville and silent films. (Soon to come: The Millennium Bash, one show only, on Dec 31.) Hokum Hall, 7904 35th Ave SW, 937-3613. $12 general, $10 stud/seniors, $2 discount with a phone reservation, $12 for reserved table seats, no discount. Fri-Sat at 8, Sun at 3. Through Dec 23.


*PIECE OF MEAT THEATRE

The "punk rock" theater troupe, responsible for such bizarre and intriguing productions as The Still and Shut-In, return from L.A. with some stuff that crosses the boundaries of sketch comedy and performance art. See Stranger Suggests. Sit & Spin, 2219 Fourth Ave, 441-9484. $8. Fri Dec 15, 9:30 pm only.


VICES OF CHRISTMAS III

Christmas viewed through the eyes of a hedonistic Venusian newswoman, among other short plays. A Theater Near You at the Union Garage, 1418 10th Ave, 726-9814. $8, pay-what-you-can on Thurs. Thurs-Sat at 8. Through Dec 30.


LATE NIGHT


*LINGER

John Kaufmann's outstanding solo piece about "being in the moment" returns for only three performances. Annex Theatre, 1916 Fourth Ave, 728-0933. $7 regular, $5 if you sign the "audience/performer contract." Fri Dec 15, 11 pm only.


*JET CITY IMPROV

Improv comedy and music. "The show goes down really smoothly. One only wishes for better direction." (Tom Spurgeon) Ethnic Cultural Theater, 3940 Brooklyn Ave NE, 781-3879. $7, $5 with student ID. Fri-Sat at 10:30.


*THEATER SPORTS

"The only improvisational show I've seen where the women performers were clearly better than the men--a welcome change from the overaggressive scene-stealing of many male-driven troupes." (Tom Spurgeon) Market Theater, 1428 Post Alley, 781-9273. Fri-Sat at 10:30, $9; Sun at 7, $5.


ELSEWHERE


BEAUTY & THE BEAST

A charming adaptation of the classic fairy tale, pleasantly different from the Disney version. Youth Theatre Northwest, 8805 SE 40th, Mercer Island, 232-2202. $9; call about group discounts. Fri-Sat at 7:30, Sat-Sun at 2. Through Dec 17.


IT'S A WONDERFUL LIFE

A stage version of the Frank Capra-Jimmy Stewart film about a guy who gets a chance to see what life would be like if he'd never been born. Everett Theatre, 2911 Colby Ave, Everett, 425-258-6766. $12 general, $9 students/seniors/military, $5 children under 10. Thurs-Sat at 8, Sun at 2. Through Dec 17.


THE LITTLE PRINCE

A musical version of the small, polite person from a tiny planet. Village Theatre, 120 Front St N, Issaquah, 425-392-2202. $5. Thurs-Sat at 7:30, Sat at 2. One weekend only.


CALLS

Mildly Obese Bat Productions is holding auditions for Giants Have Us in Their Books by Jose Rivera, to be produced in the Fringe Festival in March. They need three men and three women who can play ages 10-35. Call Beth or Rachel at 213-0307.

Seattle Public Theater seeks ethnic actors (two men, one woman) for The Tragedy of King Christophe. Also seeking lighting designer, propsmaster, and tech crew. Auditions by appointment only; call 328-4848 ext. 1.

Stone Soup Theatre is auditioning males only for Harold Pinter's A Kind of Alaska and John Guare's General of Hot Desire. Also seeking a stage manager, a paid position. Call 633-1833.

Black Canvas Productions is holding auditions for COLOR WORKS!, an adaptation of Georg Kaiser's GAS I, to be performed at the Seattle Fringe Festival in March. Physical theater skills wanted. Sun Dec 17, 6-8 pm at the Seattle Center House, Fourth Floor, Room B. Call 406-1997.