THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGEANT EVER
Final week. Two punks wreak good-natured havoc on a hidebound Christmas institution. Seattle Public Theater at the Bathhouse Theatre, 7312 W Green Lake Dr N, 325-6500. $10-$18. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
BLACK NATIVITY
Final week. Intiman remounts its always-excellent production of Langston Hughes' beloved "gospel song play," directed by Jacqueline Moscou and starring the Total Experience Gospel Choir. All this is perfectly fine--but when do we get Black Hanukkah? Intiman Theatre, 201 Mercer St, 269-1900. $10-$64. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
* BRENT OR BRENDA?
Final week. See Stranger Suggests, page 19, and theater profile, above. Scot Auguston's newest "is a zesty and superfunny biography of a hapless transvestite making his way through life, from his formative romp through Mommy's closet to WWII undercover spying as a German barmaid. Brent or Brenda? is sweet, smart, and silly--the funniest thing I've seen on a Seattle stage in far too long. " (Brendan Kiley) Ethereal Mutt at Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Dec 27.
THE CARROLLS OF QUEEN ANNE
Final week. Taproot Theatre Company images Seattle as a site of Victorian sophistication in a story that sounds filthy with "madcap." Taproot Theatre Company, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $18-$28. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Dec 27.
A CHRISTMAS CAROL
Final week. ACT remounts its always-excellent rendition of Dickens' Yuletide-learning-and-growing classic for the 98th year in a row. ACT, 700 Union St, 292-7676. $14-$36. Fri at 6 and 8:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7 pm. Through Dec 27.
* THE CRUMPLE ZONE
Fresh from Los Angeles (where it won the Los Angeles Times' critics' choice award), Buddy Thomas' Crumple Zone follows the confused love lives of five gay men in Staten Island. "Five lovesick fags come crashing together in a splashy/flashy/über-trashy holiday montage of ennui, ass-sex, and way too much tinsel on that ironic damn aluminum Christmas tree. And somehow all of this makes for an adorable night of theater. " (Adrian Ryan) Capitol Hill Arts Center, 1621 12th Ave, 325-6500. $12-$22. Fri-Sat at 8 pm. Through Jan 3.
NAUGHTY OR NICE NEW YEAR'S
One night only. Host Miss Trixie Lane conjures up the Spirits of Burlesque Past with the ladies of BurningHearts Burlesque. Catwalk Club, 172 S Washington St, 898-9067. $15-$20. Wed Dec 31 at 8 pm.
THE GINGERBREAD BOY
Final week. The boy cookie is the father of the man cookie, and so Thistle Theatre's holiday-themed Bunraku puppet has more to teach us than at first we might expect. Thistle Theatre at Sacred Heart School, 9450 NE 14th St, Bellevue, 524-3388. $7-$9. Sat-Sun at 2 and 4 pm. Through Dec 28.
THE LION, THE WITCH AND THE WARDROBE
An old wardrobe becomes a portal and Christ becomes a lion in this ambitious staging of C. S. Lewis' Jesus-freak classic. Seattle Children's Theatre, Seattle Center, 441-3322. $12-$30. Fri at 2 and 7 pm, Sat-Sun at 2 and 5:30 pm, Mon at 2 and 7 pm, Tues at 11 am and 2:30 pm. Through Jan 11.
THE MUSICAL COMEDY MURDERS
Final week. Mirth, melodies, and murder! Changing Scene Theatre Northwest, 5889 State Highway 303 NE, Bremerton, 360-792-8601. $10-$12. Fri-Sat at 8 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 27.
* PULP VIXENS IN INNOCENT HEAT AND DERAILED DESIRES
Final week. Local comedy heroines Pulp Vixens bring two lesbian-pulp-inspired comedies to the Re-bar. "Fantasy and reality intermingle in a clever, snappy, fun, and funny montage of Mystery Train meets Melissa Etheridge--somehow making boisterous breast-grabbing seem so fun, I almost wanted to jump up onstage and join in. Almost. " (Adrian Ryan) Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $12. Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 28.
RED RANGER CAME CALLING
Final week. "Unfortunately, this musical rendition fails to capture the simple, heartfelt power of Berkeley Breathed's sweet, sad, timeless children's book, instead distracting and detracting with many clunky, clumsily rhymed, and unnecessary songs, dances, and silly bits of business--leaving a distinct 'community theater' impression. " (Adrian Ryan) Book-It Repertory Theatre, Center House Theatre, Seattle Center, 216-0833. $15-$26. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 2 pm. Through Dec 28.
THE STARDUST CAVALCADE 1943
Final week. Harlequin Productions presents a nostalgic return to the days when Americans knew who the bad guys were and committed entire caroling repertoires to heart. Harlequin Productions at State Theater, 202 Fourth Ave E, Olympia, 360-786-0151. $21-$29. Fri at 8 pm, Sat at 2 and 8 pm. Through Dec 27.
* TWISTED OLIVIA
See interview, page 21. The esteemed Everett Quinton graces Seattle with his Dickens-twisting solo show, Twisted Olivia. "The story (thick with Dickens' delectable improbabilities) unfolds in a lucid shorthand, each ornate personality deftly and vividly articulated. It's all done with humor but also with a rich emotional commitment; self-referential jokes crop up here and there, but sparingly. Not to be missed. " (Bret Fetzer) Empty Space Theatre, 3509 Fremont Ave N, 547-7500. $10-$40. Fri-Sat at 2 and 8 pm, Sun at 2 and 7:30 pm, Tues at 7:30 pm. Through Jan 10.
VOICES OF CHRISTMAS
Final week. "A song from South Africa, an anecdote from France, a Hanukkah medley--you get the idea. It's a well-executed bit of fluff with nice singing, nice anecdotes, nice actors. " (Brendan Kiley) ArtsWest, 4711 California Ave SW, 938-0339. $10-$30. Fri at 7:30 pm, Sat at 3 and 7:30 pm. Through Dec 27.
FESTIVALS, CABARET, & COMEDY
DECK THE HALL WITH BROADS OF BROADWAY
Final week. Talented people sing brassy Christmas numbers in a small room while you eat. Mad Dog Productions at Crepe de Paris, 1333 Fifth Ave, 623-4111. $55. Tues and Thurs at 8 pm, Fri-Sat at 8:30 pm, Sun at 8 pm. Through Dec 31. Special show Wed Dec 31 at 8 pm: "Ring in the New Year with Broads of Broadway," featuring Broadway show tunes. $60.
* AN INTIMATE DINA MARTINA CHRISTMAS
Extended. Final week. The worship-worthy chanteuse takes it down a notch with this intimate cabaret in the round: no surprise Pacers, no Elephant Men, just the lady and her piano man--also known as recent Genius Award recipient Chris Jeffries. Re-bar, 1114 Howell St, 323-0388. $15. Mon-Wed at 8 pm. Through Dec 31. DANCE
THE NUTCRACKER
Final week. The evergreen holiday classic, gussied up with Maurice Sendak's genius design. Pacific Northwest Ballet at McCaw Hall, 321 Mercer St, 441-2424. $17-$94. Fri-Sat at 2 and 7:30 pm, Sun at 1 pm. Through Dec 28.
LATE NIGHT
NIGHTCAP
One night only. Sober yet giddy, this improv comedy troupe intends to make you laugh until you're simply wiped out. Taproot Theatre, 204 N 85th St, 781-9707. $5. Fri Dec 26 at 10:15 pm.
LONG RUNS
BUBBA AND THE BITCH at Bar, 322-1788.
* THE HOKUM HALL VARIETY SHOW at Hokum Hall, 937-3613.
JET CITY IMPROV at Historic University Theater, 352-8291.
LATE NIGHT CATECHISM from Seattle Theatre Project at ACT, 292-7676.
TEATRO ZINZANNI 2301 Sixth Ave, 802-0015.
